The Custodian (Star Trek Fanfic)

A Hubba Hubba 30

"We are being pursued by a D-4 class Klingon vessel." Spock states calmly as Jim finally gives up and tosses Red on the floor.

"I thought this sector was abandoned!"

Uhura smiled down at the red demon. "It must be a random patrol."

"Wow. So random!" Hellsing muttered sarcastically, now very mad at being left on the floor.

"Hold on!"

"This ship has no offensive capabilities." Spock added as the 'weirdo' helped Anung up.

"It's got us. Give me all six fuel cells."

"Aye, Captain." The half Vulcan was surprised his Captain found anything to be a weapon, though it was considered of a human.

Evasive manoeuvres through a ruined city while being fired at by the Klingons.

"Damn it."

"Remember, Never let a Klingon take you alive." The tail bearing 'alien' laughed.

"They're closing fast, bearing two eight five." Uhura glared at the carefree devil.

"All right, there! There! We can lose them there."

"If you are suggesting that we utilise the passage between the approaching structures, this ship will not fit."

"We'll fit."

"Captain, we will not fit."

"Ten bucks says he'll fit." Hellsing offered the half human man, who was quick to disagree.

"We'll fit, we'll fit!" Jim yells.

"Then that means you believe Jim is right, Spock?"

"Then ten dollars it is." The Vulcan raised an eyebrow as the D4 skids to a halt before the gap the trade ship bounces through.

Kirk sighs in relief as does everyone else. "l told you we'd fit."

"Hand it up, Pocky." The she devil smirked coyly.

"l am not sure that qualifies."

"Any sign of them?" James asked.

"Hey you can't get out of this! Give me my money...Actually just add it to Pike's account, you too Tiber, you owe me 2,000 dollars."

This time Nyota raises an eyebrow. "You owe her 2,000, Captain?"

"I cant add it to Pike's account! Because he's dead!"

The Ogdru Jahad commander stood up angrily. "Your just trying to get out of not paying me! Because obviously Pike is alive!"

Everyone goes quiet and stops as three warships surround them, barking orders in Klingon.

"They're ordering us to land. Captain, they're gonna wanna know why we're here. And they're gonna torture us, question us, and they're gonna kill us. Just like what Miss Hellsing said: 'Never let a Klingon take you alive'."

"So we come out shooting."

"We're outnumbered, outgunned. There's no way we survive if we attack first. You brought me here because I speak Klingon. Then let me speak Klingon."

"Yeah! And you kidnapped me, so let me go check out those smoking hot dudes." Red added winking at the closest Klingon.

"Whaa? No. Why? I just. No." James was not functioning right now and since Uhura already left, Hellsing decided to follow suit.

"What just happened?" Kirk asked his first in command, a dumb look still on his face.

"I believe Miss Hellsing is attracted to the Klingons physiology, Captain."