Complete and Utter Nonsense Harry Potter fan fiction

Chapter 5: They Have Bullies Here Too?

Chapter 5: They Have Bullies Here Too?

I walked into Defending Against the Dark Arts with Ron and Hermione. Harry was already in there standing by Professor Lockheart. I snickered in disgust. It was just so strange of how every other woman like reading his books, which probably aren't even true if you ask me. I'll have to see it to believe it.

Ron, Hermione, and I sat down into a seat right into the front where Harry was. I smiled at him and said hello. He seemed to be not in the best of moods, as his expression seemed to be rather disgusted by Professor Lockheart. Glad I wasn't the only one. Well, he was a boy, so I guess that doesn't even count. Darn.

"You could have fried an egg on your face," said Ron. "You'd better hope Creevy doesn't meet Ginny, or they'll be starting a Harry Potter fan club."

"Shut up," Harry snapped angrily.

"Oh, just calm down, Harry. You could at least be grateful you got out of that heated mess." I said while shaking my head disappointed at him. Everyone then got seated and class began shortly. I'm going to hate this class so. Freaking. Much.

"Me," he said, pointing to a portrait of himself that could move in any way that it wanted to, and then he winked at us. I shuddered as I felt shivers up my spine. I'm telling you, he's an egoistic spoiled idiot! "Gilderoy Lockheart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, and five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most-Charming-Smile Award, but I don't talk about that. I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her!"

Sure, whatever. Is that's even true? Okay, maybe the smiling award because women will believe mostly anything and think he's actually hot? Uhh, sure.

"I see you've bought a complete set of books, well done. I thought we'd start the day with a little quiz. Nothing to worry about; just to check how well you've read them, how much you've taken it." Are you kidding me?! Reading those books?! I remember everything! I have a very high photographic memory! I only wish I could get those. . . . those "things" out of my head!

He handed out the papers to all of us then went straight back to the front of the class. "You have thirty minutes. Start. . . now!" We all flipped our papers over and I read the first question to this so called "quiz":

1. What is Gilderoy Lockheart's favorite color?

Well, freaking duh! It's lilac! I finished and got down to the last question, number 54. I facepalmed for the 54th time now, and literally, my face quite stung. I quickly answered the question and then slammed my head on the table really hard. I didn't even care about the pain that was throbbing, I was just glad that this was over. It. Was. Pure. Torture.

After Professor Lockheart took up the quizzes, he read all of them. I wasn't really paying attention at all, whatsoever, until he called onto my and Hermione's name, causing me to freeze and tense up.

". . .but Miss Hermione Granger and Miss Aquila Samus knew my secret ambition is to rid the world of evil and market my own range of hair-care potions, good girls! In fact, full marks! Where is Miss Hermione Granger and Miss Aquila Samus?"

I raised my hand up weakly in embarrassment. I hated being called upon in class! It was always embarrassing! I hated the full attention and all of the eyes go on me!

"Excellent!" Professor beamed. "Quite excellent! Take ten points for Gryffindor and Slytherin! And so to business. . ." At least one good thing came out of it. Professor Lockheart then went behind his desk and picked up a covered cage. "Now, be warned! It is my job to arm you against the foulest creatures known to wizard kind! You may find yourself facing your worst fears in this room. All I ask for you is to remain calm." Psh, yeah right. What's in it, a little pixie?