His Diary || Taekook

Chapter 19

A/N
Are you all ready for this chapter? Lol don't die everybody.

Taehyung's POV

Here we go. The final entry.

9/16/17

Diary.

This is it.

Here come the tears.

This is the end.

I can't do it anymore.

I want to die.

I can't take it.

I can't take the pain of being a fuck up.

I can't take the pain of being a disgrace to my family.

I've had enough.

I was crying so hard as I turned to page twenty eight.

They don't need me.

They don't want me.

My mom and my sisters will be happy without me.

I know they will.

Not that long ago, they all yelled at me and told me it was my fault for dad leaving us.

And can you guess what they did to me?

No. No. No. Please tell me they didn't hurt you.

They hurt me.

They all slapped me across the face and punched me in the stomach.

Just like he did.

That is where I draw the line.

I'm not doing this again.

No therapist or physiatrist can help me anymore.

It's too late.

I'm done with life.

I turned to page twenty nine.

I'm saying my final goodbyes.

Goodbye "mom." I hope you feel more guilty than ever for what you've done and I hope you cry till you can't no more. Maybe when I die you will realize what you've done.

Goodbye "dad." You probably won't even know or care that I killed myself and in fact, if you knew what had happened to me, you might say I'm weak. But just like you, I don't care anymore. I'm done. I hope you rot in your jail cell and in hell. Knowing you, I could see you in both of those places.

Goodbye Soojung and Soomi. You will probably pretend to grieve but let's be real: neither of you give a shit about me. And I don't give a shit about you. All you did was hurt me. I have no idea why in the hell I protected you from getting hit my him.

I wish I had let him hit you.

I turned to page thirty, wishing this would be over soon.

Now...um...this last one is going to be hard to write.

Oh no.

Goodbye Tae.

Thank you for being the best thing that ever happened to me. I could've never asked for a better friend and though you didn't know it, a crush. I think you are the only person who might have been able to save me but you didn't know what was going on.