His Diary || Taekook

Chapter 6

Taehyung's POV

9/3/17

Hello diary! How are you today? Are you doing okay? Because today, I'm feeling like absolute shit.

I was so tired from crying my eyes out the night before and today we had PE class.

Isn't that wonderful?!

I can't remember the exact day, but I remember him looking a bit more tired than usual that days leading up to his death. How in the world did I not realize it?

Lucky for me, I have the world's greatest best friend, and he helped me through the day. He payed for my lunch and helped me finish my homework.

God, Taehyung is such an angel.

I chuckled a bit through my tears. I'm glad I was able to help him with that at least. 

He is the angel I prayed for and got. I don't deserve him as a friend, he's way too kind to me. Would it make sense if I said he treats me like I'm a queen?

I burst out laughing, even though I was crying. Even through his worst days, he still managed to crack jokes. I knew in my heart that hidden behind all this depression and self-hatred, there was a sweet boy who was just about the funniest person you've ever met.

Wait, what the fuck am I saying? I hope Tae never reads this.

Sorry Kook. It's too late for that, please don't come back and haunt me for laughing at this. 

I turned to the twelfth page and kept reading.

Anyways, my day was shit because Soojung and Soomi got to buy new clothes. Meanwhile, all I got was one of my dad's old shirts that doesn't even fit me right. 

I almost complained about it but I didn't, in fear of my dad abusing me more. Instead, I thanked him and tried my best not to flinch when he punched me in the stomach.

He punched me really hard today, and I honestly feel kind of lightheaded. Right now, I am laying on my bathroom floor, trying not to breakdown. Hopefully everything will be alright, I will be fine.

So all in all, today was just a shit day. Thanks for listening diary, even though you are forced to!!

My poor Jungkookie, he shouldn't have had to go through any of this.

I wish it would have been me instead. I wish I would have been the one dead and not the one who spends every waking minute wondering what he could have done to save the other's life.  The tears began flowing down my cheeks like a waterfall flows down a mountain. I hid my face in one of Jungkook's pillows to make my sobs quieter so that piece of shit of a mother wouldn't come to the room.

The moment my face hit the pillow, I took a deep breath in, attempting to calm myself down. However, when I breathed in through my nose, a familiar scent filled my nostrils. Jungkook's pillow still had his scent. This brought back a multitude of memories: the sleepovers we had together, a time where he lent me his jacket because I was cold, that school trip to the local aquarium where I fell asleep on his shoulder. If I squeezed my eyes shut, I could travel back to those moments for a split second.

Sadly, I had to bring myself back to reality. Jungkook was gone, and I had to find out why. That's why I was reading his diary in the first place. I took one more breath in and turned to page thirteen.