Paper Thin

• 51: Shock •

Melody

Shock. A surprising event or experience.

Shock. An unexpected or astonishing event or fact.

Shock. A feeling of astonishment caused by something unexpected.

Shock. The feeling I got on Sunday evening, when Gavin told me I'd be in the Macy's catalogue that would be out after Thanksgiving.

While it wasn't as big as the Thanksgiving one, it was a start. I heard the bell for dinner ring, jumped up and smoothed out my clothing. Nice white jeans and a navy-blue sweater. I couldn't wait to see the look on my father's face when I told him the good news.

I slid in next to Mia, a smile on my face. Margot frowned slightly but said nothing as my father sat down at the same time I did. Leslie placed our meals down, to which my father and I quietly thanked her. She smiled at us before retreating into the kitchen.

"Okay, Melody's bursting with something to say... so can you just spit it out already?" Mia said, digging into her mashed potatoes.

"I booked the cattle call!"

A chorus of "Really?" erupted around the table. The varying degrees of disbelief that coloured everyone's tones stung but I didn't let it get to me.

"Yes, I shoot tomorrow and Tuesday, and it's a Macy's catalogue that's going to come out after Thanksgiving."

"But isn't the Thanksgiving one the biggest?" Mia asked.

"Yes, but this is still good too," I replied, feeling defensive.

"Of course, it is! That's where people look for deals and Christmas sales!" My dad chimed in. He smiled, but it wasn't as big as I'd hoped it to be.

"Exactly! And it was from a cattle call which is really hard!"

"Yeah, but they probably picked like ten people," Mia countered, making me sigh.

"Well, congratulations anyways," Margot said. It was almost like she just wanted the conversation to end.

I looked to my dad who simply smiled and said, "congrats."

Deflated, I picked up my fork and picked at my food, waiting to leave the dinner table.

***

I decided on going on a run, in preparation for tomorrow's shoot. While I had initially planned to go in the basement, every fibre of my being ached for me to leave the house. So, after pulling on leggings and a crewneck sweater, I left the constricting walls of my house, one sneaker-clad foot at a time.

My shoes slapped against the pavement as my legs dragged me forward. I wasn't sure where I was going but the feeling of the nippy wind against my face let me breathe a little easier as my mind raced.

Why couldn't I ever be good enough for the people that sat around my dining table?

My news was supposed to be happy – a foot in the door of modelling.

A baby foot.

One they had to rub in my face.

Two half-hearted 'congratulations'. Three flabbergasted 'really's'.

Really. As if it was the most unusual thing that someone could pick me.

Wasn't it unusual? Why would they want to do that? I was nothing compared to the bunch of other girls they had to pick from, right?

A loud honk pulled me out of my thoughts, and I stopped in my tracks, wide eyed and shaken as I stared at a navy-blue car, from the edge of the curb.

"Are you crazy? Look where you're going!" The driver yelled out the window, fist slamming against the horn once again. I blinked and nodded profusely, surprised at how little I'd been paying attention to my surroundings. He drove off, leaving me to look around and get my bearings.

I stood looking at the park from the opposite end I usually approached it from. Realizing I circled around the neighbourhood and ended up at Carson's, I shook my head at myself. Of course, I would end up here subconsciously, he was the one person that seemed to make the darkness feel a little brighter.

Against the doubts I had in my brain, I dialled his number as I walked across the street.

"Hey," Carson answered.

"What are you up to?" I asked quietly.

"Just watching TV... are you okay?"

Suddenly, bothering him with my silly problems seemed stupid. I swallowed hard.

"Yeah."

"Where are you?" he asked, knowingly. I paused, feeling selfish for making him feel obligated to come talk to me. I sat down on a bench and brought my knees up to my chest. "Melo–"

"Across the street – but you don't have to come. I just came for some fresh air and to–" A hand on my shoulder made me jump but I saw that it was Carson. He was wearing black sweatpants and a hoodie, looking handsome as always.

"And that's why you shouldn't be sitting out here in the dark." While it came out jokingly, there was a hint of seriousness to it.

"Sorry."

Carson sat down next to me and wrapped his arm around me. A faint smile spread across my lips at the naturalness of the action. I rested my head on his shoulder and shifted closer to him, feeling enjoying his warmth in contrast to the chilly air.

"Did you go for a run?" he asked, making me nod in response. "Did you overdo it?" I shook my head.

"No, I went around the neighbourhood... I just needed to be out."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I shook my head and stared out at the grass that looked black in the night. The streetlights were the only thing that indicated that the night was lying, shedding pockets of day in their respective radiuses. With Carson I felt like I was standing in the light rather than getting caught in the black grass.

"It's just – I had great news. And they always ruin everything. I'm never g–" I took a breath and cut that sentence short. "Anyways, I came out to make sure I was in shape for tomorrow."

"What's tomorrow?" Carson asked.

"I'm going to be in a Macy's catalogue. It's not a big deal, but it's a job."

"Melody! That's amazing!" Carson said wrapping his arms around me.

"Thank you." It was soft and tainted with shock.

"You're incredible." I expected him to react the way that my family did, but he was excited on my behalf. Something that doesn't happen frequently in my life.

"Thank you," I repeated with more volume. I buried my face into his chest and let his warmth engulf me.

__________

Author's Note: Hello, I'm excited to post this on my birthday! :) This was a quick upload to thank you all for 5.6K reads on this in such a short time! You are all amazing! Thank you for all your votes and comments! :)