Paper Thin

• 92: Nausea •

Melody

"It's nice to see you still live here."

The words barely left my mouth before my eyes widened in shock. I was surprised they left my lips before I couldn't stop it from happening. I tensed, waiting for my dad's reaction.

"Did you say something Melody?" My father said pressing the Bluetooth device in the ear facing away from me. "I was on the phone." His face was tired and his eyes bloodshot, likely from lack of sleep. "I'm sorry I didn't come home...yesterday. I was pulled away on business."

I swallowed hard; my nerve suddenly gone.

"Oh, I was just saying good morning..." I started. Carson's car pulled up and I cleared my throat. "Um, Margot is probably wondering where you've been," I added.

"Right," my dad said, brushing past me.

"Right," I repeated quietly as I walked towards the car. I slid into the vehicle, hands shaking with pent up anger that I didn't know where to put. I balled my long fingers into a fist, not caring that my nails dug into my palms. Carson frowned and glanced out the window as my dad closed the front door.

"What happened?" Carson asked.

"Nothing." As the word left my mouth, my anger seemed to dissipate as realization kicked in. "Nothing at all."

I glared out the window as we pulled into the road. We drove for a little bit before I noticed we weren't driving towards the school. I glanced over at Carson in confusion.

"I think we can do without first period today," Carson said with a small smile. He turned another corner and we were headed for the coffee shop.

When we got inside the warm café, the smell of coffee beans and vanilla made my lips curve up into a smile. I went over to the beanbags and sat down, cross-legged as Carson went to get us drinks. Staring out the frosted window, I felt more relaxed here than I was at school or at home. There was no judgement here, just caffeine and conversation.

Carson sat down with two drinks in his hands. He passed me one with pretty latte art on top. I smiled and wrapped my fingers around the white mug, letting its warmth radiate through my body.

"Thank you," I said, softly. There was a pause before I said, "sorry you had to go last night." There was this weird lingering feeling on the subject of my family in the air. I wasn't sure how to address it, or if I even wanted to.

"You don't have to apologize," Carson started.

"I do. Margot is just –"

"You don't. She is a mean person who doesn't treat you the way she should," Carson said. I stared down at my hot drink, unsure of how to respond to that. There was a slight pause before Carson spoke once again. "Did your dad say something to you this morning?"

"Quite the opposite," I mumbled. "I'm pretty much invisible to him. The only way anyone in my house would notice if I disappeared was if I was off destroying the family name." Carson's eyebrows furrowed as my words sunk in and my cheeks heated. "I mean, not that I would disappear, I mean, I just... This morning I was so ready to yell at my father and he didn't even hear me because his Bluetooth was in."

I was a mosquito buzzing in the back of his ears and saying it out loud made my stomach twist uncomfortably.

"Is it always like that?" Carson asked. I nodded.

"Between Margot and work, I just fade into the background," I mumbled. My stomach twisted again, and I got up feeling suddenly nauseous.

"Melody?" Carson said, the alarm on his face clear as crystal.