Paper Thin

• 101: Pancakes •

Melody

I calmed down about an hour and a half later, feeling exhaustion beginning to set in. Carson suggested watching Project Runway, which I agreed to easily. It was simple distraction from everything going on. Footsteps on the stairs surprised me and I brushed the remaining tears off of my face, as if they had not stained my cheeks red already.

"Good morning love birds!" Carson's mom's voice rang out from the bottom of the staircase me. Carson paused Project Runway and looked over at his mom. I sat up straighter and tried to tuck my hair behind my ears to give an illusion of neatness. I hoped she didn't notice or think my hoodie and sweatpants were sloppy. If I were at home, Margot and Mia would think–

I cut the thought short as tears welled up in my eyes once again. I blinked them away and pasted a smiled onto my lips. I glanced at the clock and realized it was only a couple minutes past eight o'clock.

"Good morning," Carson and I said at the same time. The only difference was that his voice sounded much fuller and present. Brighter. My voice sounded small and far away.

"Did you eat breakfast?" she asked. Harper eyed us cautiously but let a smile wash over her features. Carson shook his head, while I avoided eye contact. "I was going to make pancakes."

"Sure," Carson said.

"I'm okay," I said quietly.

"Are you sure honey? It's no trouble," Harper smiled. Carson's wide and worried eyes made the refusal die in my throat.

"Maybe a small one," I said quietly. Despite the idea of food making my head spin slightly, I felt bad to turn down Harper's hospitality.

"Coming right up," Harper said cheerfully before disappearing into the kitchen.

Carson then stretched his hand out towards me, and I took it as he used his other hand to press 'play' on Project Runway. I burrowed deeper into my blanket as Heidi Klum appeared on the screen and I wondered if she had any problems. If a guy ever tried to do to her what Diesel had tried to do to me. If she hated the way that she looked. If she had a horrible stepmother.

"Carson!" Harper called, pulling me out of my thoughts. "Who's chocolate chip and who's peanut butter again?"

"I'm chocolate chip, Connor is peanut butter!" he called back with a smirk. He turned to me. "She always forgets who's who."

"What about Melody?"

"Neither," I said immediately. Adding sweets would take the caloric value up to an obnoxious level.

"Plain," Carson yelled towards the kitchen.

"Okay! Go wash up and help set the table" Harper replied.

Carson stopped the show and we both got up and headed to towards the bathroom that was just outside of his kitchen. He walked towards the sink with ease while I froze mid-step outside of the door. Carson glanced at me in the mirror as he washed his hands. His eyebrows knitted together in worry.

"You okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine," I said quickly. I took a deep breath and shook my head, a heavy breath coming out of my mouth before I spoke again. "That's a lie... I-I can't go in there." I blinked away the flashbacks of the party and hoped my feet would unglue themselves from the floor.

Carson dried off his hands as I watched a look of sadness cross over his face in the mirror. When he turned around, he had replaced it with a smile of encouragement.

"You can do this. I'll be here with you," he said. I nodded as he leaned against the wall next to the sink. I wrung my hands together as my heart threatened to beat right out of my chest.