Perfection Doesn't Exist (Under Editing)

Chapter 45

(Can't believe I just realized that Losin Control by Russ explains exactly how I wanted this book to turn out. But listen to it for this chapter; really sets the mood for the chapter.)

Justin POV:

Ever regret saying something? Or saying nothing at all and having it be to late to say anything?

Ever take things......for granted?

I know I did--do.

People take family for granted sometimes. They don't realize how lucky they are to even have one. Some complain about having to share things with their siblings and not having the whole package deal, toy or game for themselves. Some complain how protective their parents are over them, not letting them go out and have fun. I get that. I really do. But they miss the importance behind it all. Siblings have that special bond and love towards one another. They are each others partners-in-crime, each others protectors growing up.

And with their parents, it's sometimes not always the best connection. Like my own relationship with my parents, even Len's; they aren't always trying to find or make the best intentions when raising their kids. But others are. They know when there is something bad going on, they want to keep you from making mistakes you'll regret in your future. They've been in your shoes before, they were once young too. They've got like a sixth sense or something, but they'd rather you blame them for being bored and lame than to have you dead from drunk driving back with friends and getting in a crash, not seeing you ever again.

People young and old, take love and safety for granted too.

One thing people definitely take for granted?

Time.

Time is never promised to anyone. Time never stops or slows down for anyone or anything. Once something happens, it happens. No rewinding back in time, no taking anything back. Nothing.

I wish so many things could have happened. I would take back things if I could. Make the clock reverse to change what I've done. Or what I haven't done.

I wish I could have done something, known anything to stop Helena from making the biggest mistake of her life. But the signs were in plain sight. She told me what had happened at school, she told me what happened in her past, she told me everything and trusted me to be there for her. But I failed. I failed and that's one thing I wish I hadn't done. I took it for granted that she'd get better, that she was getting past it all. Her wounds were still freshly opened and I failed to heal them and take care of them.

When I thought I was helping, I was only doing as much damage as the others did to her before.

Sometimes, you miss those warnings. You miss the slightest details that show warning signs. The ones that are too obvious. Until you finally realize them, it's too late. It's what lead me to where I am right now.

As I jumped to save Len, it placed me right at the edge looking down to where she fell. Tears still fresh from my eyes, wondering how could I let myself be so stupid to let this happen, to even think of leaving her all alone.

"Justin, please! Let me up. I'm scared."

And when I heard her speak again, I quickly got out of the trance I was in, the one where I thought I had already lost her, used my other hand and used all my strength to pull her up.

Once she helped herself and I pull her up, she fell on top of me and I swear I've never hugged anyone so tight in the world and I've never wanted anyone more in my life than her.

As I cried, her cries were much louder than mine, thankfully covering up the sound of my hideous cries. I smelled her scent, missing her and not seeing her for a couple days. Coming here and seeing her almost gone, had I not had men watching over her, I would of been too late. Then I definitely would have lost it.