How I feel

IX

"Did you find her?" 

Adam was waiting for me around the corner near the door. I nearly forgot that he had helped me find Sophie. 

"Allegra, did you hear me?" he gave me a confused look when I wasn't responding. I was so confused what was going on with Sophie and Jake, my mind was all over the place. 

"Yeah I did, she is with Jake so she's fine" I smiled at him trying to get him to focus off what was going on with Sophie. No one else needed to see her like that, she deserves her privacy. 

"Oh that's good then" he stated still looking at me weirdly. 

"Do you want to dance?" 

I was completely off guard by his question seeing that he hadn't spoken to me since our little moment the night before. 

"Or not..." he trailed off, shuffling on his feet, getting ready to make a quick departure. 

I needed to stop thinking, needed to let lose, get out of my mind. 

Before he took off I grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the house. 

"I need shots first! It's been a stressful night" I yelled over my shoulder as we entered the house. 

.....................................................................................

7 shots of tequila later I was finished. 

I had a cup full of something in front of me [most likely beer] and was dancing my night away. 

I felt someone come up behind me and pull me close so we were rubbing up against each other. 

I felt his strong thighs behind mine as his hand moved from my waist to my front, until his hand was flat against my stomach and pulling me even closer. I could feel the tingles explode from where his hand was touching and from his breath lightly fanning across the side of my face. I didn't know whether it was the alcohol or him. And God I wanted to find out. 

I slowly slide my hand up to weave into his hair and bring his face closer to mine. I moved against him, tilting my head so I could whisper in his ear. 

"Just a little closer Adam" 

That was all he need to smash his lips onto mine. 

And for the few seconds that it was happening, I felt it. 

The tingling feeling that makes you want to scream and giggle at the same time. I felt so warm and giddy. 

Until it stopped. 

Literally was ripped away from me. 

"What the fuck man?" Adam was angry as he stared at the person who had ripped us a part. 

I looked up to see who had grabbed me, and then I was just as angry if not more so than Adam was. 

"Oh, fuck off Jeremy! You always no how to ruin my moments don't you" I yelled trying to pull away from him. Although he wouldn't allow me to leave his grasp. 

"Nope, you're drunk and you're about to make a huge mistake that I am currently saving you from" he stated like he was listing facts, without even looking me in the eye and continued to tug my body away from Adams. 

It was mid pull that I realised that I didn't want to  go with him, I was sick and tired of him always thinking that it was fine to decide what was best for me or what he thought would be a good or bad decision the next morning. I was just done. 

So I grabbed Adam's hand before he was completely out of reach and pulled Jeremy back. 

"Get off of me Jeremy, I'm staying with Adam. I think there is some stuff we have to talk about" 

Jeremy looked confused and in this moment I pulled myself free of his grasp. This is the first time that I had ever fought against him when he would come and pull me away. He needed to know that this was different, that he couldn't keep doing this to me.

"Al.... I..."

I looked at him, my eyes pleading with him to tell me what I really wanted to here, so that he wouldn't ever have to pull me away again, because I'd be right beside him.

But nevertheless he just shook his head and walked away. I knew in that moment that I had to let go of what I had been holding onto for all these years.

The hope that he felt the same way that I did about him... But of course he didn't. I felt something wet slide down my cheek as I watched his back move through the crowd.

Quickly wiping it away I turned around and smiled at Adam, then in a swift movement I had wrapped my arms around his neck bringing our faces close together before whispering,

"So where were we?"

And covering his lips with mine.  

JEREMY'S POV

The way she looked at me I knew exactly what she wanted me to say. 

She wanted me to tell her that it would be a mistake because it wouldn't be with me. 

But, I didn't. I freaked out and I walked away. 

"The fuck are you doing man?" I looked up to see Matt standing in front of me, looking at me like I am the world's biggest dumb ass, which is fucking true. 

"I don't know what you're talking about man" 

"Fucking oath you do" he pushed me and I stumbled back. I looked up at him. 

"Go tell her what she wants to hear and what you are dying to tell her. Now!" he accompanied his command with a point and a push. But when I turned around I saw something that made me stop in my tracks. 

I saw her smiling, looking at him. Before she moved forward and put her lips on his. 

I felt his hand on my shoulder and pulled me back. Resting his arm over my shoulder he turned me around so I was facing the kitchen. 

"Let's get a drink man"