addict in the clouds (joshler) | ✔️

Two

the next day, tyler rested his head on patrick's shoulder. they were watching the fiasco in front of them with scared faces. josh had his face buried on top of his knees, and was shaking uncontrollably. tyler realized he may have made a mistake. then pete walked in.

"oh my god. what's wrong, josh?" pete queried, frightened. josh didn't answer, so he kissed the top of his matted hair, trying to get him to look up. he succeeded, but looked heartbroken as soon as he saw josh's face, stained with silent tears and pitiful eyes.

"pete... he tries so hard. he's trapped here. i'm the only way he can leave. but how? he doesn't know, i don't know. if i leave, will he?" words sprang out of his mouth faster than they could have.

"honey, what do you mean? are you okay?" pete asked, checking josh's forehead for a bad fever. it was clammy instead; like feeling a dead body.

"he left jenna. for me. because of me. no, he left jenna because he felt he needed to leave jenna. and chris. nick. mark. his parents. his siblings. me. but he left jenna. and kissed me."

"what? who are these people? who kissed you? do you know a jenna?"

"they're tyler's old friends and family. tyler kissed me yesterday. yes, jenna black was tyler's old girlfriend."

pete shook his head, and cupped his boyfriend's face in his hands. "joshie, are you okay? really? because... tyler is dead, sweetie. he couldn't have kissed you."

"pete. shut up. you might love me, but you can't understand. did you ever see patrick after he died?"

patrick grabbed tyler's hand, and they both help them together firmly. pete was silent for a moment, until he sighed, and planted a peck on josh's lips. "i love you. i do love you, josh. but have my punches messed with your mind? you're dreaming of impossible things, life isn't a doctor who or supernatural episode."

the hold between the two angels fell slack.

"what punches?"

petes eyes widened as he realized that he played himself. "did i say that? i meant the crowd that knocked you unconscious."

josh wasn't buying into his bullshit. he just got up and went to the front of the bus, angrily. pete didn't bother to follow him. he slumped his shoulders, and cried and cried until he got completely dehydrated.

josh saw brendon, who was driving the bus, and sat next to him.
"hi josh! how's the trip been so far?"

josh ignored his question, and said, "you're gonna want to take me to the hospital. i'm going mad."

"what do you mean?"

"tyler gave me clear signs yesterday. yellow paint. van gogh ate yellow paint. he was suicidal. he knew that there would be a large tree being cut down in the forest that day. he went there, because he wanted to die, brendon. he was suicidal. at his funeral, there were lines around his wrist. if they were just rubber bands used sometimes, the marks would be gone. they've been there a while. so, yes. you might want to take me to the hospital, brendon."

the panic! singer pulled over at a chipotle. he got up, and stared at josh. "i don't understand you. why the hospital?"

josh stood up too. "brendon, you're such a great person. you let a stranger accompany you on one of the most important things would might experience. tours probably mean everything to some people. this has meant a lot to me. don't let the people you love down, brendon. but i don't believe you will. you're so strong, too strong for that."

"josh, that's nice, but tell me why i'm taking you to a goddamn hospital!" brendon yelled, frightened of josh now. he was dodging questions, and this seemed serious. brendon knew josh wasn't mad. and had no reason to go to the hospital.

"because you're perfect, brendon. but i'm not." he said, grabbing a knife from the kitchen a few feet away.

"i'm mad. perfect people can kill themselves sometimes. that's why tyler died. and mad people can kill themselves sometimes, as well."

he pointed the knife to his throat, and before brendon could react, which he would have done if he could, josh said one last statement. "tell pete wentz that i used to love him." the knife came down on him as fast as josh could make it.

• •

josh woke up with a racing heart, and sweaty legs. his body was pressed against someone else, and his face was pressed in fluffy hair next to him, with an all too familiar musk. the sky was bright out, it seemed around ten in the morning. he softly shook his spooning partner, his groom awake, kissing his neck and rolling out of bed with a groan.

he checked his appearance in the mirror. everything was the same as it was last night, but different from the nightmare he had before. same dyed yellow hair, same tattoos, same abs and shorts. he quickly jumped in the shower, and came out to see his spouse putting on a black sweatshirt. they kissed each other again, and the newlyweds went out.

walking to their destination, josh replayed what happened in his nightmare again in his head, but ignored the kick of anxiety by staring at his husband.
he noticed josh staring at him, and smiled.

"i love you so much, joshua william dun."

"tyler robert joseph, i love you too."

soon, they arrived at their destination. they were visiting their best friends, the one  member of panic! at the disco, and the members of fall out boy.

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