Dear diary,
Today was the day of Tyler's funeral. I don't think I was able to take it all at once. I was seated in the back, talking to nobody, didn't even go get food after with everyone else. It hurt me so bad. At this point I feel to upset that I'd gladly have that lumberjack butcher me up like he did to Tyler. It pisses me off. He got no penalty. Literally no penalty for killing my best friend. It's impossible to not hate you, lumberjack asshole.
I've been trying to deal with the pain. And I've found a way to do that. It causes physical pain, yes, but it takes my mind off of Tyler. It was hard for me to convince my mom to stay out of my room, but she agreed. I personally don't want to keep cutting until my arms are sore, but there's nothing else I could possibly do. I'm not 21 yet, so I can't buy alcohol, and even though I could buy cigarettes, I like my lungs, thank you very much.
Ever since the body was found, I've also tried to erase my memory with Mark and Nick, by changing the way we think. Instead of being the lovable assholes we were before, now we're just normal assholes. But I seriously have no way to get Tyler out of my mind. We want to stop before this gets out of hand, but we can't. And, after a while, it gets fun. I'm going to build up a tolerance, Chris said to me, but I'm not going to listen. He brought Tyler out to the damn forest, and to his death. Now it's turned into teenage rebellion.
But I don't care anymore. I just want to stop thinking about Tyler. He was my greatest friend, how could he cause me this much grief? I don't know how to last without his helping hand through life, and now I've fallen into deep. Now beating up kids is welcoming. Graffiti is welcoming. Cutting my skin is welcoming. I can't stop this now. I guess now I have to blame Tyler Joseph instead.
Later,
jøshua dun
spøøky jim christmas
YOU ARE READING
addict in the clouds (joshler) | ✔️
Fanfiction*There will be mentions of suicide and fighting involved in the story. They won't be too graphic, but if those do upset or trigger you, it would be recommended that you don't read this story.* On August 22nd, 2006, Tyler Joseph was found in the wood...
