Authority ▲ Ksimon

Doubt

Words:(1472)

Simon

I wake up to complete silence except the faint heartbeat of JJ's chest. I open my eyes, but everything is blurry and disoriented. The only thing I can make out is JJ swiping his finger along his phone screen, my eyes burning from its brightness. I shove my face further into his chest, letting a small groan of disapproval out in the process. JJ finally notices that I am awake, whispering a quiet 'good morning' and running his hand through my thick hair. I slur out a couple of intelligible words before pulling my body further into his embrace.

As my body begins to wake up, so do my senses. There is a burning sensation in my chest causing each movement to feel like Hell. I pan my eyes down to my chest, feeling my chest hitch in my throat at the sight. A row of stitches right along my ribs, the ends red with irritation. "What the fuck.." I whisper to myself, but accidentally gaining JJ's attention in the process. He follows my eyes to my chest, letting out a simple 'ohhh' and holding onto me tighter.

"What is the last thing you remember?" He asks while pulling me onto his lap, my head falling limp on his shoulder. I wince in pain, making myself comfortable before taking in JJ's question.

"U-uhm.. I remember you and Nick fighting.. that's it.." I whisper, wrapping my arms around his muscular frame and keeping my head hidden in the crook of his neck. I feel myself zoning in and out of consciousness the more I lay in JJ's arms, yet I keep my eyes fixed on the wall behind me. I need to know what happened. I need to.

"Well," JJ sighs, propping me further onto him, "Nick tried to shoot me, and you got in the way.." He traces his finger along my stitches before pulling me further into him. I stare off in shock, fear striking my features at the thought. I was shot. By my own brother. My shock quickly turns into anger at the realization that he tried to shoot JJ.

"Where is he.." I whisper, gripping JJ's shoulder with a great amount of force. He notices, brushing his fingers though my hair before continuing, "he's here."

My eyebrows furrow at his words, pulling my head out of his neck to look at JJ head on. He smiles at me before placing his lips up to my ear, "we made an alliance baby.. we're okay."

I smile, pouncing on JJ in excitement and pushing him down onto the bed. He lets out a loud laugh as I place kisses all over his face and neck, making sure the ones on his lips last longer. Sadly, my excitement ends as the pain in my chest grows stronger, causing me to hiss out and fall over beside JJ. Jide jumps up in urgency, checking every inch of my body as I regain my composure. "Hey, hey I'm alright.." I breathe out, grabbing his bicep in reassurance. He gradually calms down, plopping down next to me and wrapping his arm over my shoulder.

"You took quite the hit out there," He mumbles, placing small kisses along my neck. I hum out a response, running my hand through his hair in satisfaction, "Yeah.. I just don't get why he would do that to you.." I mumble, my eyes growing dim at Nick's actions. JJ notices, pulling my chin up to face him. "He was just trying to do what was best for you.. He's a good brother.."

I smile, inching closer until our noses are touching and kissing him deeply, passion filling my senses. I feel JJ smile into the kiss, gently grabbing the back of my head to deepen it. I separate, trying to catch my breath as our lips hover over one another. He places one last peck on my lips, whispering out a small 'I love you...' and holding the back of my head.

I smile, wrapping my arms around him and letting out a breathy laugh. 'I love you too..."

JJ lets out a large breath, plopping his head back down onto the bed, "Thank god." My eyebrow raises at this, pulling myself up by my elbows to look at JJ in amusement. "Did you think I didn't?" I ask, a smirk visible on my face. JJ stutters out a couple words, all of them jumbling into gibberish. "Well- uh- I don't kno- You never kno-" I shut him up by placing another kiss on his lips, my head plopping down onto his chest. I laugh when I hear his heart beating irregularly, causing me to place my hand into his. He squeezes my hand, giving me a look of gratitude before whispering into my ear.

"Nick really wanted to talk to you.." he says, backing up to wait for my reaction. I only look up at him, a bit of concern lacing over my features. "Then let him.."

He pulls me into his chest, placing a kiss on the side of my head and lying me back down. "You're so fucking brave."

I feel my face heat up, hiding my face in my hands and mumbling out sounds of disapproval, "I'm really not..." JJ spins around, shaking his head and rubbing his hand along my thigh. "Coming from the person that ran away, got kidnapped, found out his brother was a gang member, got shot, and is now willing to speak to the man who shot him..." JJ states inching his face closer to me, "You're the bravest person I've ever met.."

I hide my face with my hands once again only for JJ to rip them away, replacing my hands with his lips. He separates, rubbing his hand along my face and letting out a wide smile. "I'm going to go get Nick," he mumbles, leaving me alone in my own thoughts.

It isn't long until Nick barges in, not giving me a chance to speak before his arms are around me tightly. "Oh my god Simon! I though I killed you - I'm so fucking sorry I'm so fucking stupi-" I shut him up by smacking the back of his head and returning his embrace. "You're really fucking stupid, but it's okay.." I say while smiling over his shoulder. I hear him sigh against my head, rubbing my back in the process, "You're too forgiving, brother."

"I know.." I whisper, pulling away from him to lie against the pillows propped up for me. Nick takes a seat next to the bed, waiting patiently as I readjust myself. When I am finally comfortable, I spin my head around to look at him. He has bags under his eyes, along with scratches along his arms from stress.

I remember when we were in school, he used to scratch himself to the point of losing blood. Our mom would cut his nails to the point where he could no longer scratch himself. It was always a warning sign to show something was on his mind.

"Is everything okay?" I mumble, eyeing him up and down as he stares at his lap.

A tiny smile breaks onto his lips, staring at the photograph still placed on the table beside me.

"Everything is okay."

I smile, turning on my side to face him head on. "What about at home?"

He bites his lip, a frown pulling at his expression. "Well.. mom left dad."

I jump up in surprise, holding myself up by my elbows, "What?!"

I've always been the kid who never experienced divorce, hearing it now is rather strange. Especially in my situation, I don't know how to feel.

Nick only nods, rubbing his face over his hands. "After you left, mom snapped. She filed a police report on him and he left. We don't know where he is."

Nick looks me in the eyes, placing a calm hand on my shoulder. "Mom really misses you."

My eyes pan down, a frown tugging on my lips. If she misses me, why did she let him do it?

Nick already knows what I'm thinking, beating me to the answer. "Mom was going through a lot. All of her boys were leaving for college, dad was threatening her, she was scared. She really loves and misses you. Trust me."

I feel tears threaten to spill from my eyes at his words, my chest tightening at the thought. "I miss her too.."

Nick smiles sadly, squeezing my shoulder in reassurance. "Maybe I'll take you back to see her one day."

I nod, leaning down and letting out a long breath.

"One day."

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I've been trying to be good on updating but I've been borderline depressed and now I'm all pissed off so hopefully the fic will be done by Monday. -Oli