Shawn Mendes Imagines

"I love you"

Note:
I'm such an evil person. Sorry.
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Music:
~ Act Like You Love Me by Shawn Mendes
~ I'll Never Be Her by Olivia O'Brien
~ Running Low by Shawn Mendes

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"I'm sorry", he said, which only made me feel even worse, if possible.

Acid tears burned my throat, threatening to escape my eyes any second. I held them back, but my eyes were still watery.

"Shawn, please", I begged. "Please, don't leave me here"

He looked at me with compassion and sincere sadness. "I have to"

"But-", I began, containing sobs. "But I love you"

He looked down and remained silent.

"Shawn, I'm in love with you", I confessed, and felt a burdening weight vanish from inside me.

He lifted his head and locked eyes with me, making me melt instantly under his gaze. God, he was so beautiful. I wondered if I could ever let him go.

"I'm sorry", he apologized for what seemed like the hundreadth time. "I-I can't"

Warm tears began slipping down my face, but I didn't stop them this time. I let them flow, because there was no strenght left in me. I was destroyed. He destroyed me.

"It's okay", I managed to mumble, and smiled weakly to ease his guilt. "I understand"

He stared at me with sorrow for a few seconds before cutting any distance between us. He pulled me into a tight hug, and for a moment, I forgot about the pain. I felt safe around his warm, steady arms. I inhaled his reassuring scent for probably the last time, and felt it consume my body. After all this time, I still loved him.

I opened my eyes to see her, who was standing behind us, arms crossed on her chest. As soon as we made eye contact, she turned her head, breaking the tense connection instantly. She was so pretty, and so damn lucky. She had everything I ever wanted, and she'd have it for as long as she lived on this Earth. I came to the conclussion that that was all I could ever ask for, and all I would never have.

But despite how miserable I was feeling, I didn't hate her for a second. Not because she was a sweetheart, or because they were meant to be together, but because I wanted him to be happy. If that's what he wanted, then I would just have to accept it, for his own sake. I loved him, and as much as I would've wanted him to choose me, his well-being was more important than mine. I was in love with him, and I wished him the best, even if I wouldn't be a part of his life.

He pulled away from me, perhaps sooner than I would've wanted. Nonethless, I let him go. I smiled again, this time truthfully. He smiled back, but his features looked forced.

"Thank you", he said.

I nodded in understanding. "Goodbye, Shawn Mendes"

"Goodbye", he replied, and turned to her. I watched him walk away from me and closer to her, each step increasing the painful distance between us. The unbearable weight fell back into my chest, making it harder for me to stand stright. I resisted the sharp urge to fall on my knees and cry.

I watched him grab her hand gently, the way I would've wanted him to hold me. I watched him disappear into the distance, become nothing but a blurry silhouette. I felt him transform into a griveous memory in my mind, one I would never be able to shake away, and that would haunt me forever.

A memory I would never, ever forget.

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— Lou ☼☽