Memories can't change me.

Epilogue

Epilogue

Harry's POV

"Its been exactly ten years today that you died. Ten of some of  the worst years of my life.

“The first two years were spent moping about and being depressed about your death. The boys noticed the difference in me and told me numerous times to 'brighten up', at to which I attempted to do. However, that didn't tend to work and I'd end up going to sleep cold and  miserable.

“Until six years ago, when I met Rose.

“The day that you died, right after I had said goodbye, I could've sworn that you talked back to me. I could've sworn that you, too, said goodbye and and told me to 'find someone else'.

“I did try, everyday for two years. But I got nowhere when I looked.  I gave up all of my hope. Until Rose. 

“She went to a the same rehab clinic as I did at the same time that I did. She had also lost someone important in her life: her mum.

“She was, in some ways, very similar to you, Jules, however she looked completely different.

“She had a devilish father who hated her guts and tried to hurt her. Rose only had one person in her life that she respected, and  that was her mum. I thought that I could do what I did to you to Rose, which was to try to fix her.

“And Rose had this idea that she could fix me  as well. So we worked in a team to try to fix each other.

She did an amazing job at it.

And you're probably asking why I was in rehab. 

“After you died, I went through hell. I tried to steer myself away from alcohol, as you would hate it if I turned to it, but I did have it occasionally. Not often, but when I did have it, I often had  the worst hangover the next morning.

“However, I was clinically depressed and I took pills on a regular basis. One day, I had too many, and Louis found me on the bathroom floor, looking dead.

“I promise you, Julie, the lads did the best they could for me. We continued on as a band for two more years after your death. They tried to help me, but I guess I was a lost cause.  I love them, Jules, and we're still all the best of friends.

“I tried for them, too. I tried to get better for them. But I couldn't. I tried to 'see the light' or whatever that saying is, but I couldn't. They never gave up on me, however. And they are still my brothers.

“They miss you too, Julie. They had hard times when you passed away, as well. Especially Louis. Louis hated it. He would never tell you this, but he did. I saw him red eyed a few times. And it angered me that I was as bad as I was, when all the other guys seemed to be getting over you a bit more as time went by, but I wasn't getting anywhere.

“The boys then enrolled me into a  rehab, where I met Rose. It was a nice rehab, I must admit. When I was there, I thought that I'd get through it for you, Julie. And I did, with the help of Rose. She pushed me to get through it. She got through it also. And she was in it for roughly the same reasons as me, and I'd like to think that I helped her get through it.

"We didn't get together immediately, but after four months we started to go out. We loved each other. And I'm the happiest I've been in years now. Just because I heard you that night. I swear to it, I heard you. And you said that I would find someone who would be capable of fixing me.

"She fixed me, Jules, she really did. I found the person you were talking about, Julie. And she fucking fixed me. Just like you said she would all those years ago."

“Daddy, why are you crying? It's only grave."

I sobbed, “it's more than that, Darc. When you're older, you will understand. I loved her so much. "  I crouch down on the ground , so I could be level with Julie.

I pat the spot next to me, signalizing my four year old child to join me.  We stay like that for a while, just looking at her grave. The tears had slowed down from my eyes, however once in a while, I would feel a soft finger wiping them off of my cheek. I would look up to see my Darcy giving me a solemn look.

“You tell me that crying is for people who are sad. I don't like you sad. I like you happy. You say crying is for being weak. You're not weak, daddy, but don't worry, I won't tell anyone you cried.  It can be a secret," Darcy whispered in my ear.

I lost it. I grabbed Darcy's hand in mine and cried, "Darcy,  you are my hope in life now. I love you and your mother  so much, you know that? You've both done an incredible job at fixing me, and I would be a lost boy without you, you know? I love you so much," I cry into my curly haired four year old's shoulder.

“But I loved you so much Jules.  I would be nothing without you, Julie. I would've never had a gorgeous child like Darcy, I would never have met Rose at a rehab clinic.

“It's a fucked up world, Julie," I scream. “It is, but I never would've gotten over it without you. You made me worth something, Julie. And I loved you for that. And I will love you for every other day of my life, Jules. "

Of course I love Darcy and Rose with all my heart, but people say you never truly stop living your first love, and Julie was my first love.

Although the past will stick to the past, and the future is inevitable, and although we will gain memories through time, I don't believe that any of those memories will change me.

That's because  memories can't change me, and they never will, Julie. Not even the memories of you.

______

A/N

So...

omg that was the last ever chapter of 'Memories can't change me.'

That was a teary chapter, ehh??

Anyway, if you've read this far into the book, then bravo, cause it has been quite a shitty one. I commend you.

I really don't think I ended this properly, but you know, what can I do?

Thank you so so so so much if you've read this and enjoyed it. Even if you haven't enjoyed it, thank you.

So I've started a new fanfic called What You Do To Me, and its a Harry fic as well. Would mean a lot if you checked it out.

Also, I might start a 1d/5sos fic, but I dunno, cause yeah. But I have the plot all sorted in my head.

*gasps cause I've finished my first fic* 

now shit.

love h xx