The Hunger Pangs - A Parody

5

I stand on the chariot, petting the horse that will carry us through the crowd. In the Big Boy, Peebo's stylist Porpoise tell me the citizens of Big Boy City congregate in the City Circle, and we just run them over brutally as they try to run away from us. It's wild, and wacky. Cinnabon says every year he's the first one to get run over. He has the scars and bruises to prove it.

As for my costumes? Well it's kind of exciting. "In order to represent coal dust," Cinnabon starts.

Then Porpoise finishes, "We just will have you go naked and just be sprinkled with a light layer of coal dust."

"It reflects how disgusting you were when I first saw you," Cinnabon tells me sweetly. With rapid gestures he pushes me up to the chariot and then sprinkles some kind of liquid onto the ground at my feet. After I ask, he simply states: "I want to make you unforgettable." He then winks at me and bites his lip, walking away to retrive something.

Peebo enters the chariot butt naked as well, coal dust all over him too. Even under the dust you could see him staring down at me and blushing. I look somewhere else, knowing he won't stop.

Then all the chariots are set, and I see four people staring at me. One pretty girl with giant breasts and giant butt, with blonde hair to top off. Her name is Kimberly, I discover. Her district partner is named Marble, and when I see him I see why. He's struggling to stand, as his costume is a giant marble ball, and he keeps rolling around in his chariot. The boy from district 2 is a titan, and Kimberly calls him Grundle, but his real name is Tainto. His district partener is named Clymidia. She stares at me like I'm a slab of beef and starts juggling knives like crazy.

The Big Boy people are congregating now, and that's when President Slow himself begins to slowly...and I say very slowly...walk out to his balcony. He makes slow movements out to the balcony and, in ten minutes, he's silencing the crowds. He's old and fugly, looking like a snowball, because he's that wide too. Almost like Marble, who can barely stay on his chario as of the moment.

"Guh....reee...tings....Pa....nem...." he starts very slowly. "This....is....the running....of....the tribu....butes...." he then begins another sentence after that remindings us of the districts' greed or something like that, but Gobstopper an Marble's chariot is already rolling. Oh and also Marbe tumbles on the ground and rolls down the City Circle, knocking people over like bowling pins.

Clymidia and Cato are in their chariots throwing knives at people. Some girl from District Three or whatever screams as she runs away from a bomb that was in her chariot, getting knocked over by Marble instantaneously. It's mayhem.

And I almost love it until Cinnabon pushes our chariot and throws a lighted match into the liquid at our feet, and we go up in flames. I scream and shout for help but everybody thinks it's just the fun of the run, right? Peebo is clinging onto me like I'm water or something, but all I know is I'm on fire. The horses sprint into a din of people, and ee run them over instantly, both of us in agonizing pain.

Some guy with blue hair is reporting the event from the balcony. "Wow well look at that. District Twelve burning alive in harmony. That's how we like to see it."

I scream and shout, and I then jump out of the Chariot with Peebo, rolling on the floor. Eventually the fire goes out, and so do I.

Peppy Drink-It wakes Peebo and I when we are in the Training Center. Whilst eating a slab of marshmallow vanilla cake, which my mouth waters over, she informs us that its, "Where you train your brains out all to die at the Cornucopia. Good luck!"

It doesn't make me lose hope or anything, resonating on my face. I look bored and unamused, knowing I will win this. Peebo is definitely scared, as he latches on to my boredom. I then realize there's only a thin layer of black dust separating him from my lady parts, so I push him out the window. He screams as he falls to his death, and I merely begin to walk back over to my room when he rebounds into me, slamming us both to the ground.

I try to get up but he's on top of me, so I push him off. "How the hell?!" I shriek.

That's the moment Haybail butts in, swigging a gallon of chunky milk. "There's a forcefield surroundin' the buildin'." He then leans in to my ear, tickling my face with the ends of his weird hair. "You'll need to try a lot harder, sweetfart." He chuckles then vomits out the window with coughing and spluttering, then recoils to his room as if nothing happened.

I realize Haybail is right. I have to try a lot harder to kill Peebo before the Games. Because I don't want to have to deal with him in the Arena. He'll only lead me to trouble.

And that's when Haybail's green slimy bile rebounds off the forcefield and slaps all over Peebo.