OUT OF MIND / MYG.

TWENTY EIGHT

a week passed and i finally was allowed to be released from watch.

i was starving for attention.

for company other than dr. choi and nurse han.

yoongi had been thrushed into the holiday hours, as it was november.

therefore, he couldn't visit as often.

i understood.

but i became lonely.

really really lonely.

and i disliked that.

and today i was finally going to the common room.

i always have mixed emotions concerning the common area.

there were good people.

but there were also people who fed off making others suffer.

sooyun and chaeyoung belonged to the latter.

i knew the odds of me encountering sooyun were next to none because she, like eunbi, hardly left her room.

chaeyoung, however, was always in the common area any chance she got.

as much as chaeyoung disliked people, she practically never was in suicide watch or on penalty.

it was hard to believe because chaeyoung had serious anger issues and lashed out all the time.

but she technically didn't harm herself or others.

i knew the moment i stepped foot into the common room, chaeyoung would have some words for me.

she normally mentioned either my past or my suicide attempts in her jabs towards me.

either would affect me.

but i absolutely hated it when she mentioned nari.

nari was an extremely sensitive topic for me.

i had been friends with nari since i was a little girl.

and as i grew older, i became more dependent on her.

then the fire happened and things changed.

she was all i had left.

when people use our relationship as a joke to hurt me, i tend to feel empty inside.

because no matter what she's done, she's still my friend.

and i need her.

nobody understands that.

not my doctors or nurses or fellow patients.

nobody.

if minji was there, i'd feel better.

minji always protected me from chaeyoung's anger.

in the best way she could.

sometimes chaeyoung just needed to let all of her pent-up emotions out on me.

as much as it hurt, i understood.

at least i tried.

so, i weakly walked into the common room with nothing else left inside me except hope.

and that wasn't much.

but, it was all i had.