carpe diem

collision course

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they say the trick to achieving is just to believe
and belief in believing is leaving
the hometown
lowdown
slowdown
life that you lead

there's no trick to that though

at least not when you're 16
nose deep
feet first
and up to your neck in papers that tell you who you are
and ask you who you wanna be

there's never an answer to that, is there?

you see, my mother never had an answer
she still doesn't
sometimes she looks for it in the bathroom,
thinking maybe it'll be at the bottom of a beer can if only for that one moment-
If she sips enough it'll appear

and she lives her life believing that i won't do the opposite

I'm still searching for my answers
and I know they won't come through the bitter taste of liquor
nothing makes me sicker
than the thought of it

I'll drown before I drown myself

letting alcohol live your life is like handing your car keys to a toddler and simply saying
"drive"
they can strive to do what you ask of them
but we all know you're heading straight for a brick wall
and neither babies nor beer know how to put the brakes on
like they put those shakes on

i never wanna be like my mother

because my mom has been heading for that brick wall all her life,
so what does that make me?

-ch

I've been thinking about trying out spoken word poetry so this poem is kinda testing those waters. I wish I had some slams near where I live. Anyway, feedback would be greatly appreciated x