carpe diem

pl

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To my love,

   With you I hope to grow old, not looking forward to the unsteadiness of my hand as I go about my days, but I know you'll be there to steady my heart and we'll both be better for it
    The you-shaped cavity in my heart is emptiness embodied and personified until you return to fill it like you fill my eyes and like the light fills yours when you speak about something you love, I always hope I am that something
     I can't reconcile missing you with loving you it seems, they hurt equally, mostly because both leave me trapped and gasping, so much I want to do and so few words to express how much I love you dear, you're my boy
     I often mistake contentment for joy and fondness for love, but god I am so enamored with you, there is absolutely no mistake, tears spring to my eyes even now as I think about how positively enchanting you are, you leave me daydreaming, chasing you in circles around my head
     Your lack of presence is felt and it is heavy, but it is worth it just to see you again, the feeling of your hands sends chills down my spine and your warmth is unrivaled, you radiate light from your smile to your tummy my sweetest love
    I am so bitter towards my shallow pool of knowledge, I will never know enough words to articulate my love for you but know I'd do anything for you to feel it, I want you to feel loved, it is so important to me
    Don't think I'm cheesy, or do, at least I will see your smile as you laugh and maybe you'll put your tongue between your teeth like you always do, and I'll redden but feel better because at least you know how I feel about you in full
     You are worth everything to me

-ch