if i believe you | negan

chapter iii.

I STOOD to Negan's right as he strolled up to the gate, knocking on it with his bat.

"Little pig, little pig, let me in!" He called and my body shivered. My hands started to sweat as I realized I was returning to the place that was once my home.

Spencer opened the gate, not looking too happy to see Negan. His eyes fell on me and their expression changed.

"Gonna let us in, kid?" Negan asked, and Rick told Spencer to open the gate. Negan strolled in, taking a look around.

"This is a damn fine community you've got here, prick." Rick looked over at me, ignoring Negan's pet name and his eyes filled with relief, then he looked behind me.

I turned around and saw Daryl, wearing stained, off-white clothing and staring at the ground. Rick tried to speak to us, but Negan intervened.

"Ah, ah. They're aren't here to talk," Negan grabbed Rick's shoulder, slung his arm around him and continued. "Why don't you show me around, prick? I am a guest after all."

Rick walked forward, towards the armory where all their weapons were kept, knowing that's what Negan really wanted to see.

"Come on, darling, you aren't leaving my side," Negan said, placing his hand on the small of my back and pushing me along. "Prick, hold her, would you?" Negan said, handing him Lucille and walking ahead.

Rick's grip tightened on Lucille and he looked at me. I shook my head, knowing what he was thinking.

"Go ahead prick, hit me in the back of the head with my own bat," Negan said, turning around and glaring at Rick. Rick only stood there, staring at the ground. "That's what I thought."

"Men! Go through the houses, take anything that seems useable." Negan ordered. I watched as the Saviors ran into the houses, shoving people out of the way and forcing themselves into their houses.

I couldn't help but feel guilty.

I couldn't help these people now, even though they had helped me and I felt selfish. The Saviors took mattresses, clothes, lamps, tables, or anything they could find. I looked over at Negan, who was watching me, and then I looked down at the ground.

"What's the matter, sweetheart?" Negan asked, walking towards me. He lifted my chin with his gloved hand and tucked a loose piece of hair behind my ear.

His amber eyes met mine and I couldn't read them. There was no remorse, no guilt found in his stare.

"Do I have to watch this?" I asked him, barely speaking and my voice cracking as I had been quiet until now.

Negan turned to Rick, "Say, prick, where's that sick lady from the circle?" Rick's face fell and he walked towards the wall.

"She passed away a few days ago." Rick said, standing in front of Maggie's grave. A sob escaped my throat as I collapsed to the ground, feeling the freshly dug up dirt under my fingernails.

"Hey, hey, hey, none of that, sweetheart. Come on," Negan pulled me off the ground and walked me away from the mound. I veered against his body, starting to feel mine fail again, but he kept me upright. "y/n, sweetheart, it's okay."