SAME COURSE [COMPLETED]

XXI. LET YOU GO

"Why are you doing this?"

"Answer me now" he's serious "So, I know if okay lang ba to be with you or I really need to stay away..."

"Let me go"

"You just need to answer me, should I marry Denise after graduation? For that stupid company, for my future, should I.. Do I need to really let go of you?"

I looked at his eyes and he's really eager to know my answer. Ano bang sasabihin ko? Why do I need to answer this? For his future? Maaatim ba ng conscience ko to answer No and makitang masira ang family nila, their company and his future? Or, mas okay bang sabihin kong Yes para na rin sa kanya? Kahit na.. Kahit na wala ng.. kami..

"Jinn.. I guess, mas magiging maayos ang lahat kung susundin na lang natin si tito?" We looked at each other.

"Okay..." he let me go "If that's what you want.."

"Anong if that's what I want? I think it's the best, na kahit na sabihin kong hindi ito ang dapat mong gawin, dun ka pa rin sa kung saan ka makakabuti. You should know this yourself, you don't really need to ask me"

"I was asking you because I want you, you're included sa plans ko, sa naging plano ko before, sa plano ko ngayon at sa mga plano ko sa future. Lagi kang kasama kaya I want to know if you're okay with that.." he sighed "but, hindi"

"Jinn, why are you doing this?" Medyo teary nako

"Why am I doing this? Because, sinabi ko na sayo. I love you, I want to love you, to protect you, I want to be with you" he looked at his right and I can see na teary na rin siya "but, I guess, you're not feeling the same, hindi tayo pareho ng nararamdaman"

"Jinn.."

"I get it" he smiled "I know you also want what's best for me and dahil you're important, I will not fail you" he looked at me and ang lungkot ng mata niya. "You should sleep, let's talk tomorrow" tapos naglakad na siya papunta sa bahay nila. He did not even look back. Deretso siyang pumasok sa bahay nila.

I feel so weak. Pagpasok ko ng bahay umupo agad ako sa sofa and cried. Hindi ko alam kung tama ba yung mga sinabi ko and yung naging decisions ko or dahil takot lang ako sumugal because everything is not falling into place.

Bakit hindi ko masabi na I also love him? That I also want to protect him kaya yun naging sagot ko sa tanong niya? Why is loving someone's hard? Hindi dapat ganito diba?

Nagising na lang ako the next morning sa sofa. Yes, darn, dun na pala ako nakatulog. I hurriedly fix myself since 30 minutes na lang at late na ako sa 8am class.

Paglabas ko ng bahay, everything is quiet. I saw tito sa patio na nagbabasa ng newspaper. Well, hindi niya ako makikita since nakatalikod siya.

"Paaao!!" When I looked, si Steph

"Hey, morning. What's up?"

"Oh, why you look so tired? Di ka naman ba nakatulog?

"Parang ganun na nga" I laughed "at bakit nandito ka?"

"Bawal ba? Pinlano ko talaga to kasi inaagaw kana ni Jinn sa akin. Lagi na lang kayo sabay naglalakad papuntang school, hindi mo na lagi ako inaantay"

"Ganon?" I laughed "Sorry na"

"I know, kaya this time, uunahan ko na si Jinn. Nasan ba siya?" She was looking at his house "dalian natin, baka Makita pa niya tayo tapos agawin ka niya sakin"

"Baliw ka!" I said tapos tumawa siya.

We passed Jin's house and biglang tahimik si Steph

"Oh? Ba't bigla kang tumahimik?" I looked at her and she was crying "Steph? What the actual fudge?"

"Paaaaaaooo" she hugged me

"Anong nangyari?" I pushed her away and iyak pa rin si gaga

"Baka hindi na matupad yung mga plans natin after graduation"

"Ugh?"

"Hindi na tayo sabay maghahanap ng trabahao, or magiging bummer for 3 months"

"Ano bang pinagsasasabi mo?" I'm laughing

"Magmimigrate na kami sa Canada right after graduatiohuhuuhuhuhhuhh" then she hugged me again

"Ano ka ba. It's okay. It's expected naman for us to have separate lives after graduation eh"

"I.. huhuhhuuhhuh you will contact me everyday ha?"

"Steph, we still have like, 3 weeks before finals and siguro mga 2 weeks before graduation, ang tagal pa kaya bago ka umalis"

"Wag kang iiyak ha? Lagi tayo magchat"

"Ang sarap mong tuktukan!" she laughed.

"Hindi lang ako makapaniwala na i'm leaving this town pati ikaw, pati ang barkada"

"Nasabi mo naba sa kanila?"

"Saka na, kapag malapit na. Gusto ko ikaw muna makaalam"

"Buti naman" I smiled. "Oh, wag kana umiyak. Akala ko na naman guy problem na naman"

"No to guys muna as of the moment, I want to graduate first and fix everything. Kapag stable na, saka na ulit ako magmamahal"

"Stop joking" then naglakad nako dahil alam kong wala ng patutunguhan tong usapan namin.

"Pao naman e!" then sumunod na rin siya "Basta wag kang iiyak ha?"

"Bat naman ako iiyak?"

"Baka lang naman" she laughed

"Baka nga" I repied.

So, 1month and 1 week left? Almost? And mababawasan na circle of friends ko. Well, physically. As much as I wanted Steph to stay, meron rin naman siyang sariling buhay and dreams to fulfill.

Sa campus, nakita agad namin sina Gab and Christine sa lobby.

"Oh" Christine handed us an envelope.

"Uyy?" I asked her

"Yes. Wedding invitation" she smiled.

"Kasali ba ako?" Steph asked

"Oo, kayo flower girls ko"

"Seryoso?" Medyo obvious naman na excited si Steph maging flower girl.

I can see na simple yung magiging wedding. Close family lang and walang ibang friends na inimbitahan si Christine kundi kami.

"Nasan ba si Jinn? Kanina ko pa siya tinatawagan e"

"Ughh. We don't know, tinakas ko nga si Pao sa kanya e"

"Tinakas?" Christine asked tapos tumawa

"Oo, lagi kasing kasama ni Jinn e, inaagaw na sa akin" Steph said