My Name is Bill Cipher

People to Change For

These past few days have been a nightmare. And believe me, I know exactly what nightmares are like; I should know, I'm an ex-dream demon. But nightmares, I've found, are much more horrible from the receiving end.
Mabel has been avoiding me as much as possible. Dipper doesn't seem too pleased with me either. Ford has scheduled for all the members of the zodiac to come over on Saturday, in three days. That's when we'll all go over to destroy my stone form.
     I'm no farther on completing Ford's deal. After Mabel, I don't know anyone who will stick up for me. I have no one.
     In all my free time these past few days, I've been trying tests on myself. With some practice, I can now change my voice and other eye at will, which I think is pretty cool, though I know this would terrify everyone else, making them want to destroy my old form even more, limiting my chances at survival.
I believe my counterparts have finally merged into what I'm supposed to be in this human form. However, I feel no more powerful than I did when I first became human. I'm still Bill Cipher, and I always will be. It's just... I don't feel like I used to be. I mean, yeah, I have no powers anymore, but I just feel... different. Dipper and Mabel have clearly stated that I will never change, but if I have changed, this is it. I'm still Bill Cipher, but I feel under control of my previous insane, chaotic behavior. I feel calm and understanding, two things which I have not felt much before.
     "Howdy!" The sudden shout from behind me causes me to scream in fright. I turn quickly to see freckle-faced Gideon looking taken aback. He begins to laugh, first a giggle, but then into a hysterical fit. "I-" he wheezes, "had no idea-" he laughs harder, his face turning red, "someone could scream that loud and high!"
     My face heats up with embarrassment. Flustered, I counter, "I just- just didn't know anyone else was here, that's all." Though I'm more annoyed than angry, I decide to change my voice, just to mess with him. "YOU THINK YOU'RE SO FUNNY! BUT IT'S TIME TO GET WITH THE PROGRAM, GIDEON!"
     Gideon's laughing stops at once. I've definitely swayed him a bit. "Y-You okay there, C-Cipher?"
     "I WAS JUST ABOUT TO ASK THE SAME ABOUT YOU! NOW GROVEL AT MY FEET, GLEEFUL! AHAHAHAHAHA!"
     Gideon's previously wary expression is slowly turning into a grin.
     "WHAT'S SO FUNNY?!"
     Gideon's grin is a full-on smile now. "Bill, I know you're not really angry. Besides, you don't even look it! One of your eyes still looks normal enough to me."
     "DANG IT!" I wail. "I FORGOT TO CHANGE IT!"
     "Never mind that," Gideon tells me. "You just aren't dangerous anymore. No one really fears you anymore. Even if you were angry with me, you only have as much strength as a boy in his late teens. Which, is more than I have, so I wouldn't really want to tick you off, but you see what I mean?"
     "Yeah..." I sigh, changing my voice back to normal. "Hey, could you not tell anyone about how I can change my voice and stuff at will or anything? They'll just get more hyped to kill me."
     "Kill you? I don't think any of us have that intention," Gideon says.
     Is he serious? I never thought that anyone here other than Mabel (and maybe even her brother?) cared about my wellbeing. "Really? But Ford won't even do any tests on me to see what will actually happen to me when you all do your zodiac hopscotch thing! He says he'll only do so if I find someone in the zodiac who's on my side. Someone that actually cares about my wellbeing just as much as their own. Mabel was the only one I could think of. I trusted her. But I blew it and now she wants nothing to do with me."
     "I know how that feels," Gideon murmurs. He sighs. "You've done many evil things, Cipher. Really bad things... but I've done terrible things, too. I know I've hurt Mabel and her family, and I have my regrets. But I can't change the past. I know you know that full well, too. I've told Mabel how sorry I am. She's forgives me, but the hurt is still there. I don't know if she'll ever fully trust me again."
     "I know," I mumble. I've done such terrible things. How could Mabel ever treat me kindly again? How could she see what a different person I am now? How much I've changed? How much I want to be with her?
     "But if you're truly sorry about the things you've done..."
     "I am. I really am."
     "Everything?"
     "All of it." And that's really the truth. Though I do want my old form back, I never want to use my powers for what I used to. I've found people to change for. I want to change for Mabel. To change for the Pineses. To change for everyone else.
     "Bill Cipher, I'm willing to go to Ford with you. Your life is just as important as anyone else's."
     My jaw drops. "You?"
     "Yeah, why not?"
     I drop my head into my hands and heave a sigh of relief. "Thank you," I say gratefully. "Thank you."