numb | fillie

overwhelmingly alive

------------------------------------------------------------
in which ~ we discover that sleep is easier when you feel safe

------------------------------------------------------------

millie's p.o.v.

strong arms wrap around my body, jerking me away from the road just as the semi plows by.

i gasp for air, breath filling my lungs.

i feel overcome with warmth as they rap around my shaking body.

he burries his face in my short hair rubbing my back lightly and letting my cry on his chest. the now pouring rain falls over our intertwined bodies and rolls onto the cement we're sitting on. headlights brighten the otherwise dark highway. i cry. i let the hot tears fall; i let him see what i've held inside for so long. i feel myself melting in his arms.

every now and then he'll coo sweet nothings into my ear. hot salty tears fall down my face; stinging my cheeks; about as fast as the rain now pours. my heart beats a mile a minute; adrenaline still pumping through me from that split second between life and death.

i gasp for air between sobs; my breath fast and reckless.

"shhhhh. it's ok now. i'm here now. shhh millie, shhhh." he grabs my hand rubbing gentle circles on my tremorous palm.

it's as if all the things i refused to feel came exploding out of me; like putting mentos in coke.

slowly i regain my senses that seemed to have left. i can hear the cars splashing by on the highway. i can hear the rain wash over the town and the lightning crackle through the air. the thunder; so loud that the ground shakes.

i flinch through the trembling, as the deafening ring of noise travels around us.

"millie, we have to go."

he takes both my shaking hands and helps me stang up, guiding me away from the highway.

opening the door, he lifts me into the van, buckling my seat belt. it makes me feel small and fragile, as if i'll break any second.

he gets in the driver seat starting the van, letting out a deep breath.

we sit there in silence, soaking wet from the rain.

he shakes off his curly hair, like a dog. droplets hit my face blending in with the drying tears.

it's not till we reach the appartment, that i recognize the feeling of peace flowing through me. i feel alive. it's as if i had to hit rock bottom to be able to finally get better. i can feel everything, it's overwhelming at first. i've been numb for so long that in some ways i'd forgotten what it felt to be alive. i'm not even sure if i want to die anymore.

he turns off the van, getting out. he doesn't even ask if i want him too, instead he goes right ahead and carries me into the apartment. i burry my face in his warm chest. his shirt is still damp from the rain but that's alright.

we get into the appartment and i close my eyes, not wanting to know if the others are home. he takes me into what i assume is his bedroom and lays me gently on his bed.

i hear the door close and get scared, thinking he just left me there. i open my eyes, my body longs for him to be holding me. minutes later he re-emerges; a plie of blankets in his arms.

i stare at him, confused.

he lays out the blankets on the floor making a makeshift bed. he then comes over and sits on the bed beside me.

silence falls over the room like a burden. i can almost hear his brain thinking of the perfect thing to say to me. to be honest i couldn't care less what he says next. he's here and that's all that matters.

"millie." he breaths.

i look up at him. his face is tired, as if he's been worried about something.

he lays back on the bed, sighing. i copy, slowly and carefully resting my head on his chest. it sends chills down my back, the contact to his warm body.

i feel his heavy breath on the top of my head, blowing wind through my hair.

"finn." i let out a breath i didn't know i was holding.

he flinches at the sound of his name on my tongue.

"thank god." he mutters under his breath.

i prop myself up on my elbows, confused.

before i know it, hands are in my hair, his lips on mine. it's insane to think, minutes ago i thought i'd be dead and now i feel more alive then ever.

the rough kiss leaves us both gasping for air. there's a sense of longing and desperation in this kiss, that wasn't there before. it's as if we want to erase what just happened through our locked lips.

we break from the kiss falling back on the bed, breathing fast.

"thank god." he whispers again.

i close my eyes.

finn gets up off the bed walking over to the blankets on the floor.

" w-what are you doing?" i question.

"you can take the bed, i'll take the floor." he replies.

i shake my head but lie back on the bed.

almost an hour passes but i can't seem to fall asleep. tossing and turning isn't doing me any good. i sit up quickly, crawling across the bed and looking down at finn.

he appears asleep. his mouth is slightly open and with each exhale the curl that's fallen in his face, floats.

quietly i slip off the bed and slide myself next to finn's warm body. i think i've gotten away with it, until i feel his arm wrap around me tightly. he nuzzles his head into my neck.

"couldn't sleep?" he asks quietly.

"no."

he pulls me closer and within minutes, i feel myself drift off.

that night, i sleep better than ever.

-

a/n:

shorter chapter, sorry it was pretty bad.

i have the rest of the chapters planned out for this book. there will be 20 in total.

thanks for reading,
- georgia :)