We’re all afraid of something. That something might be so simple and silly, like being scared of spiders or heights. But there are other fears, the ones that are related to feelings. We all are scared of losing someone, of oblivion, of being forgotten. The capacity of the human being itself is something amusing yet scary at the same time. There also exists that small fear that comes along with thinking you’re completely sure of doing something without analyzing its consequences. Being afraid of something or someone is what makes us humans, vulnerable and mortal.
A virgin like me is currently afraid of having sex with her boyfriend of almost 9 months.
I hope it’s something normal.
During the first class periods all I could remember was taking sloppy notes of some of the subjects that were previously discussed, and not understanding half of the things my teachers said. I looked back at Nina a few times, and spotted a hint of curiousness on her face, probably trying to decipher the reason behind my weird mood. As soon as the bell rang, signaling we had lunch period, I sprinted off my feet and went straight to the cafeteria.
Nina was walking by my side, her eyes glued to mine, no words being exchanged. Both Nina and I sat in one of the countless tables, and then she began with all of her questions.
Are you mad at me? Why would I?
Did you and your parents fight today? Not really, we barely fight actually.
Does it have to do with Evan? We have a winner!
“Did he cheat on you? That fucking bastard…” was the first thing she said after a long pause. I laughed nervously and shook my head no.
“Then, what?” Nina inquired.
“Evan told me to come over to his house this Friday, meaning his parents will be at a family reunion…meaning he wants to have sex with me and I have been a bundle of nerves the entire day because of it.” I spoke fast. Nina just nodded and then picked on her nails.
“If you love him, and he loves you, then why not have sex with him?” Well, that’s easy for you to say Nina. You have had sex already.
“I’m not entirely sure if I love him, but I do really like him.” was all I could say.
“You should see yourself when you stare at him, girl you love that guy.” I blushed. I didn’t want to keep dwelling on the subject anymore, though. I had four more days to think about it.
“I almost forgot to tell you.” Nina beamed. “Michael and I are going on a date tomorrow!” While she spoke, she had this huge grin on her face. I wonder if I looked like that every time I talked about Evan.
“That’s amazing. Where are you guys going?” I was happy to see my best friend like this.
Nina is a survivor of a huge, dramatic heartbreak. Her ex-boyfriend, Marcus, cheated on her with her cousin while Nina was out of the city with her parents. I still remember Nina calling me at 3AM, crying her eyes out. I hoped with everything in me that Michael was the great guy he seemed to be, or else I would cut him in two.
“We’re going to Central Park; Michael is eager to visit all of New York in one day but I told him that Central Park is one of the main places he should visit, so he agreed.” She laughed before adding “And you’re coming too.”
“And why would I want to be a third wheel?” I asked.
“Luke and Calum are coming with us, too.” Oh, well then.
“Nina…that’s not a date, you know that right?” I giggled. “But fiiiiiine, I’m going.” I said, dragging the ‘I”.
“I knew you would come anyway.” She knew me too well. “I need your help though. Want to go shopping after school finishes?” I nodded.
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Allure | Luke Hemmings
Fanfiction"It's hard to resist a bad boy who's a good man." - Meet Alexandria Hawthorne. Gorgeous, kind-hearted, and humble. She's also daughter of one of New York's richiest families. Then there's Luke Hemmings. Reckless, one of the biggest man-whores you...
