A Sense of Guilt ✔

Chapter 14

'Hey Donnie,' Joe said sitting down for a drink in O'Gradys. He was relieved to see a friendly face after the strain of the past few weeks. 'How've you been?'

Donnie shrugged, the low lighting masking his face. 'You know me, busy with work, busy with other things.'

Joe laughed. 'You don't change.'

'But you do.'

Joe narrowed his eyes, instantly on edge. 'What do you mean?'

'I never had you down as a cheat.'

Joe felt the colour leave his face. 'What are you talking about,' he muttered playing with a beer mat. 'I haven't cheated.'

Donnie scoffed. 'You never could lie, it's written all over your face.'

'Shit,' Joe said slowly taking a sip of his drink and avoiding Donnie's gaze. Shannon must have talked, she always was a blabbermouth.

'Yeah, it is shit Joe, to both of them,' Donnie said grim-faced while Joe wouldn't meet his eye.

'I know it's bad,' Joe finally said. 'I do love Kat but I think I love Shannon as well.' 

He let out a deep breath. There was definitely something there, he couldn't stop thinking about her.

'You can't love both of them,' Donnie snorted.

'Why not, people have open relationships?'

'But you're a one-woman man. You'd never be happy in that sorta relationship.'

Joe knew it was pointless arguing, Donnie couldn't tell him anything he hadn't already told himself. It might be a rare day when he set foot in a church but his beliefs had been well drilled into him. 'Look I do want to get married, that hasn't changed. I know you think Katherine's pushed for this but I want it too.'

Donnie shook his head. 'We're getting off the point. You've cheated on Kat, and you've used Shannon.'

'I haven't used her,' Joe snapped his heckles going up.

'No? So what is it?'

'I don't know what this is,' Joe admitted his thoughts flitting to Shannon in his arms. 'That night with Shan was great-'

Donnie groaned. 'Spare me the details.'

'No I meant it wasn't meaningless sex. But then I went home to Kat, and I love her....it's messed up cos I still love Shannon as well.' He was glad to finally admit it out loud.

Donnie looked sceptical. 'You loved Shannon when you were kids. Don't you think you're getting that all mixed up?'

'That's what I've been telling myself,' he said earnestly. 'What I feel for Shannon is sentimental, and what I feel for Kat is real nuts and bolts sorta love.'

'Nuts and bolts?' Donnie spluttered.

'I mean like the real deal, something you can build on.'

Katherine was his future, Shannon was simply fun.

'So are you gonna tell Kat?' Donnie asked.

'No way!' Joe couldn't believe he'd suggest it.

Donnie's mouth turned down. 'Don't you think that's unfair? She should go into this marriage with her eyes open.'

'But she'd be devasted.' And she'd probably dump him. If not the wedding would certainly be postponed.

'You should give her the choice,' Donnie said his tone disapproving. 'And what about Shannon? She's been through a hard time and you're trying to get her to fall for you again.'