I was feeling hot and sweaty. Management only liked to give us 20-30 minutes to leave after concerts. It was their way of avoiding any possible rumors fans enjoyed telling about meeting their oppas' backstage and having their way with idols after a show. Also their way of keeping us on tighter leashes. They made sure we were back in our hotels or dorm immediately after. I pulled my shirt from over my head and reached for a towel. I was sharing a dressing room with Taehyung. Taehyung usually found his way to Jungkook or Jimin's dressing room though, so it was like I was alone anyway. I picked up my phone contemplating on whether I should call Saorsa now, or when we were back at the dorm. Before I could make the decision the small voice from behind me did. "Boo!" I, being unfazed turned to see Suran behind me. She was so childlike sometimes I'd forget I was younger. I chuckled. "What did you want to chat about?" I asked to get straight to the point. She sighed. "Yoongi-ah must you be so cold and rush to business? Can't we catch up?" She found herself wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me closer. I could feel her small chest against mine and immediately backed away. "I don't think that's a good idea." I cleared my throat making as much space between us. Hadn't she seen the news? Hadn't she learned that I have a girlfriend, a child, a family of my own now. "It's not like you're married." She says softly, seduction on her lips. "Ihave too much to lose. I have a family." I said.
"What if I told you we could have had a family?" I wasn't sure what she meant by that. "What? No we're far over. Why would you come back now? Now that you know I'm happy and-" "Happy?" She says as though it were funny. "You should go if that was all you wanted." I looked toward the door. She made no moves. Instead she got closer, backing me into my mirror. Her hand crept up my thigh until it landed on my crotch. She didn't have to do much to excite me. I couldn't help it, it was just nature. "Let's go back to old times." Before her lips could touch my own I turned away and use my forearm to back her off of me. She only laughed. "You need to go. Now." She was upset now. "Fine. That isn't what I'm here for anyway," as she spoke I was putting my shirt on. I didn't want anything to look suspicious. "She's three in July!" She called after me right before I pulled the shirt completely over my head. I hurried to look at her to make sure she was serious. "What?" I asked. She was looking down now. "Now you want to be quiet? Speak up!" I said. She huffed. "Her name is Nari. She was born July 12, 2015. She looks a lot like me, but she acts a lot like you. She's our baby." She had tears in her eyes and for some reason I couldn't turn away and just leave. I wanted to, but I just couldn't. "Why are you lying like this? Are you that cold? That childish and envious? Why would you make up such a story like that?" She was shaking her head. "What do you have that I want?" She said. I could name a few things but I didn't want to belittle her.
"Ionly came because she started asking about you. She's in preschool now. There was a daddy daughter dance and..." She began crying hysterically. I could only watch her. "Could she be serious?" I cursed under my breath. "You need to go." Was all I could say. I needed time to really think about this. I needed time to know if she was really serious.
Back at the dorm I was searching for any pictures on the Internet of Suran with a little girl and couldn't find any. Was she just trying to scare me? That's not like her though. At least she wasn't like that two years ago. Saorsa had called for the tenth time and I finally answered. "Are you really that upset with me?! I can't go out with a few friends? Seriously?" She began spewing out fighting words. "Ah shut up it's not that." I groaned catching her attention. Apparently I was catching Jin's too. He had yanked an earphone from his ear to listen in. "Don't tell me to shut up. What the hell is wrong with you?" She says. "You're yelling over me! I wouldn't be able to tell you what was wrong with me if I wanted to!" I argued. "I haven't done anything to you. I went out with friends for the first time in a long time and you're ignoring me for that?" She said. "Don't play victim now. You called me assuming I was mad at you and I wasn't. I'm busy. You know this." I said. "Victim? Really?" She scoffed. "You always assume things. Just stop!" She went quiet. I held the phone to my ear in silence as well. "Ihope you had a grand ass day. Thanks for asking me about mine." And I hung up with that. Jin was now up and next to my bed. He was holding his game controller in his hand. "Why would you talk to her like that?" Before I could answer he hit me in the back of my head with his controller. "Call her back." He demanded before he left the room. "Ahh!" I let out a yell. I groaned rubbing my head as I searched my recent list to call her back. The phone rang a few times.
Finally she answered and I could hear a couple sniffles come from her. "I'm sorry. I had a bad day and I took it out on you. You deserved no part of my anger." I admitted to her. I hated knowing that she was probably crying and I was the cause. "I'm so sorry." I repeated when she hadn't replied. "It's okay." She croaks. "Are you okay though?" I asked. "Yes." She says. "I'm fine. I just- I hate it when you're mad at me." She said. "Why was your day so bad?" She changes the subject. "Uh...I just found out some bad news. I can tell you about it later when I know more." I said. "Oh...um okay." The line went silent for some time. "Well I've got good news for you. It's what I tried telling you earlier." Her voice was more high now and filled with excitement. "What is it?" I asked. "Everything went through for Korea. We'll be there within three days. Maybe even two if Kaelan's hospital records are here by midnight tonight. I'm waiting to book the flight in case they do get here tonight." She explained ecstatic. I was thrilled to hear that. This meant I had to get everything situated at home and fix things up. "That's so great baby. I'm so happy." I smiled from ear to ear. "Hey my mom's beeping in. She must've got my message about leaving earlier. I'll call you back okay, sorry." She hung up quickly. I stood up and made my way toward the living room. "Hey Saorsa might be here this week!" I said. The guys looked away from their video game. They all gave their congrats and I talked with Jin about what had happened. I told them more about it as we ate. Would it be okay to tell them about Suran? Maybe not today. Not now.
As I sat there I really began to think about things. What if she came here? What if she came here only to find out I have a kid with another woman? What if she leaves?
I needed a drink.
{Saorsa}
I tried calling Yoongi back. I got no response. Maybe he was sleep now. It was like 4 something in the morning there, but he barely sleeps during night. Hopefully he is asleep.
Just as I began to tune into the latest show I had been watching, I got a text.
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