I listened to the tires of the car roll over dirt and rocks as my father pulled in front of the house. I didn't want to go into the house, let alone interact with anyone. The entire situation was embarrassing. Seeing Shayla and my father disappointed was one thing, but it was Amber who I couldn't show my face to.
"This is the look you're aiming for now? Revenge?" My father asked me after stopping the car.
I wanted to scream, yell out that it wasn't my fault. Tell him that I was sorry and that what he thought happened, didn't happen the way everyone else assumed. I didn't want to give into his words; however, like my favorite singer Melanie Martinez, I was a cry baby. Sensitive. I started crying in front of my dad.
He only groaned and pinched at his beard. "That's not going to fix it. You can't fix this. You're just like your-"
I took off running towards the house. When I opened the door, I found Shayla standing inside with her boyfriend. Caught. That was the first thing my mind thought of. As much as I wanted to bust the two of them and tell my dad, I let it go. I ran upstairs to my room and shut the door. No mistake could ever be fixed by me. I was toxic, a living disappointment. There was no fixing my situations, and there was no fixing me.
Anger is a horrible mix when it's intertwined with depression, confusing, and not knowing your point in life. I had no clue where I was going or what I would do next. My life seemed over, even though it really wasn't. The school didn't want me, my father didn't want me, and I was sure Amber wanted nothing to do with me. As always, my blade was visible. It was always on my dresser when I really didn't want to exist.
"I can't keep doing this," I cried to myself. I didn't want to cut because I knew it wouldn't change a damn thing. I went over to my pillow, punched it, screamed into it, then threw it on the floor. Bit my lip, squeezed my arms, panted harshly, pulled my hair, but I eventually went back to my blade. "I can't do this anymore!"
Before I pressed the blade to my skin, Amber walked into the room while holding the jar. She stopped a few inches away from me when she had found out what I had been holding. While the door was open, I heard Shayla and my father yelling. I wanted to listen, but Sunny closed the door then ran back to me.
"You can't go that way," Amber said and took the blade, replacing it with the jar. "I know Sunny is trying to make you do it."
I shook my head and gave her the jar back. "It's not Sunny. It's my life! Look at the situation."
She grabbed my hand and took me to the bed. "I see it, but you have to fight. Sunny wants you to do this."
I rolled my eyes. The crying had given me a headache, and I had to lay down on the bed.
"She's miserable too," Amber said. "She wasn't always like this. Not until you came. And a little before that. I'm not sure."
"Everything changes when I'm around," I then sighed. "I'm like fire on a bridge. I make everything in my path worse. I destroy everything. No one wants me. Except for Sunny, and she wants me to die."
"I wish there was a way to talk to you," Amber tugged my arm.
I wiped falling tears away. "I'm right here. Talk."
"I'm scared Sunny may...do something to me if I tell you."
"But, Sunny likes you," I shrugged. "She won't harm you."
Amber hesitated for a minute. Without warning, she got up and sprinkled the crushed bones around us. With fear in her eyes, she looked at me. "I've heard a saying. Desperate times, calls for desperate measures. I think something is really wrong on Sunny's end. She-"
The sound of glass breaking startled us. It had come from downstairs. We both knew it was them arguing, but we didn't care much to get involved. "Go on," I said.
Amber took a deep breath. "For the first time, in a long time, Sunny went outside. Last night, I saw her talking to someone by the trees. A huge silhouette that towered her. It grabbed Sunny, and I saw her body fading away. Finally, it put her down then pointed to the house. Sunny walked back inside. I peeked out of my door, and when I saw her, she had been screaming and crying...with her mouth shut and no facial expression at all."
"But," I looked at the door then back at Amber. "What does that have to do with me?"
"I don't know," Amber frowned. "But, like I said. Desperate times, calls for desperate measures. I don't know why she's trying to make you kill yourself, but you shouldn't do it. I don't know what will happen."
I gave Amber a reassuring smile. "Sunny would never harm you."
"But, you'll harm you. And she might too."
That was true. I was probably more harm to myself than Sunny ever was. Before I could say anything, Amber and I heard noises coming up the stairs. Loud stomps. Either Shayla or my father slammed their bedroom door. Amber placed the jar in my hand. "You keep this. And stay away from Sunny."
I thanked her for the jar. She quickly ran back inside of her room. I sprinkled the bones around, everywhere. Amber was almost out of the crushed bones in the jar. I couldn't help think of how we'd get more, or who had to be Sunny's next victim for the bones to keep The Lovely Suicide Children from Amber. Sunny was strange. She wanted to protect Amber, but not me. Sunny was hiding something, I was sure. Whatever she was hiding, would involve me.
*Correct any mistakes I've made. Also shoutout to these amazing authors inksorcery :D I also got a chance to meet them! :3 And you can expect regular updates from now. Thanks for being patient! Just a quick note: Even though I'm not close to ending the book, I would like to do another collage with the words. "You're not alone. You matter." This time, for the people who didn't participate. So think about being a part of that for now. I'll let everyone know towards the end of the story when they can submit photos. Thanks!*
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YOU ARE READING
The Lovely Suicide Children
TerrorThey say every dead person has a home. Olivia found her home with The Lovely Suicide Children. At first, it was everything she could ever imagine. However, the first impressions are usually wrong. (Trigger warnings)