Me, Myself & Him. (H2OVanoss)

You still don't quite understand

Page 11 --

Happiness filled through Jon as he sat on his bed remembering the day he had. Happy thoughts flew around his mind, as they slowly started to change into more anxious and dark thoughts. Jon had forgotten the whole reason he stopped talking to Evan. It wasn't only because he was gay, but he also was in love with the man. Jon flopped down on his bed, and went on his side. "I still can't be by his side...I can't do that to him"

The next day at school Jon couldn't find Evan anywhere. Until it was lunch time, Jon was walking up to the garden when he saw Evan already sitting on the bench. "I hope it's alright that I keep coming here..."—"It's fine". Jon sat down beside Evan and opened up his lunch. "What do you have today?"—"A rice and chicken omelet"—"did you make it yourself?" —"yeah"—"what seriously?!" Evans voice slightly rose, making Jon flinch a little. "I didn't expect you to cook, why do you?" Jon stayed silent for a second, "I live on my own, and so I had to learn". Evan stared at Jon, "Can I ask why?" he said sounding extremely interested. "My parents kicked me out at 16, since they didn't approve of me..."—"So, you've been on your own for almost a year then... what's it like?"—"Well, at first it was really scary and hard doing everything on my own... and that's still sometimes an issue, but it's really nice, being away from them"—"you should let me over sometime, I'm dying for a break from my own parents too". Jon dropped the piece of food that was on his fork, almost dropping the entire container of food. "You wouldn't mind going to the house of someone like me?" Evan froze staring at Jon "Of course not, I mean just because you're into dudes, it doesn't make you a rapist"—"some would say differently"—"Well, their wrong... I mean seriously how does that even add up"

"I'll think about it" Jon mumbled out, and instantly Evan's face lit up, but he just turned forward not saying anything else about it. They sat there in silence for a while, and Jon continued to think about what would happen if Evan did come over. He knew he wouldn't do anything, even if he really wanted to, he knew he wouldn't have the courage to do anything but torture himself. "Maybe it's not such a great idea" Jon thought to himself "But how am I suppose to push him away now... last time, last time he found everything out... so if I push him away, will he find out again?" He continued to stare towards the fountain. "Oh shit lunch breaks almost over" Evan said standing up "So, I mean let me know man, but if not I understand" he began to walk off, and then waited for Jon to catch up, as they both continued to walk back to class.