When I look at you

Am I?

It had only been two hours since she got the news, thirteen hours after the accident, but Chloe felt as if it had been days. Days of longing for her wife to just wake up and come back to her. Days of not being able to look into her beautiful dark blue eyes and tell her she loves her. Days of crying as she held onto every hope she has of Beca waking up and telling her she's going to be okay. She felt numb, sitting outside of Beca's room. She hadn't been in to see her yet. She wouldn't be able to face what was waiting for her behind the door of the hospital room. She wouldn't be able to look at her wife in such a traumatic state. She couldn't.

Nobody had said a word since they got the news. Fat Amy, Lily, Luke and Cynthia Rose had flown over as soon as Jesse had broke the news to them. Jesse had been in to see the brunette but he had only been able to stay with her for several minutes before he couldn't stand to see her like that anymore, in the state that she was in. Nobody else had been in the room apart from Jesse and the doctors. Hours passed by quickly and before Chloe knew it, it was 10am the next day. She'd had no sleep, nothing to eat or drink. The only movement she had made was to run to the rest room three times to throw up. She hadn't said a word to anybody. And nobody had said a word to her either, apart from asking her if she wanted anything to eat or drink.

The only word to describe the redhead in this very moment was broken.

Aubrey approached the redhead slowly, placing a soft, comforting hand on her shoulder, and Chloe found herself leaning into her. And only then did Chloe notice that everyone else was still there. Nobody had left, they had all stayed with her. (And she wouldn't be able to thank them enough and tell them how grateful she was for that.)

"You wanna go home and get cleaned up?" Aubrey asked in a gentle voice, afraid to break her small, fragile best friend.

To say that the incident had affected everybody in a number of ways wouldn't be far from the truth. Of course, everyone were worried sick about the small DJ, and everybody wanted her to just wake up. But the way that it had affected Chloe made everybody else worry for the redhead. She was absolutely devastated, and Aubrey was worried that Chloe wouldn't ever be able to be fixed if Beca didn't wake up. If Beca died, Chloe would die to. Not in the literal sense, but emotionally. Everybody knows how much Chloe loves Beca, and how much she means to her, and vice versa. And if Beca never got better, Chloe wouldn't either. (And that scared the shit out of them all.)

It surprised Aubrey when Chloe nodded in agreement. She figured that it'd take a lot more than that to persuade Chloe to leave the hospital, but then she realized it'd be good for the redhead to get some fresh air and clean clothes. Aubrey told the others where they were going before she drove them both back to the beach house in her and Jesse's car.

"Chloe, are you going to go in and see her at some point?" Aubrey asked tentatively as they both walked into the house. The redhead looked around at how they had left the house before the incident, and it took her a few minutes to respond with a barely audible "yeah."

"Maybe you could, I don't know, take her laptop in? You could play some music for her."

The redhead just nodded in agreement as she slowly made her way up to the mantelpiece where there were two framed pictures of them. One of them was of their wedding photo, and the other was of them at the beach house the last time they came. She picked up the wedding photo and thought back to the day. The day they promised to love each other forever. And she found herself thinking that now is way too early to break that promise.

Three and a half months ago..

"We are gathered here today to celebrate one of life's greatest moments, to give recognition to the worth and beauty of committed marital love, and to add our best wishes to the words which shall unite these two women, Beca and Chloe, in marriage. To witness the love and respect that you have for each other."