When I look at you

Its killing me

Two weeks later..

"Hey Bec?"

"Bathroom!"

The redhead smiled at the sound of Beca's voice coming from their en suite bathroom. She approached the door which was open slightly, and peeked her head in to see Beca brushing her teeth. The brunette looked over at her and smiled despite her mouth being full of toothpaste, thus causing a bit of white froth to dribble down her chin. The redhead laughed as she opened the door fully and stepped inside, picking the towel up off of the side of the sink.

"Cm'ere." she giggled, bringing one hand up to cup Beca's face as she brought the towel up to wipe her mouth. The brunette looked up at her with a smile, and Chloe's stomach did back flips at the way she was looking at her. It felt so.. right. They looked at each other for a while until Beca awkwardly cleared her throat and moved to the sink to spit out the rest of the toothpaste. Luckily, she had no more around her mouth, so she just placed her toothbrush back in the holder and smiled shyly at Chloe before walking back into the bedroom.

Chloe's smile weakened as she watched Beca walk away. Her chest felt like it was constricting, and her stomach was hurting like hell. She brought a hand up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear as she thought about the past two weeks with the brunette.

Obviously, the brunette could still only remember one small thing about the redhead, from when they were both on The Ellen Show, and that killed her. It killed her to know that Beca may never remember the wonderful memories they both shared together. It killed her to know that Beca couldn't even remember Jake, and that Aubrey and Jesse had to take him because the brunette wasn't very fond of dogs when she was 19, which meant she wasn't very fond of them now. She couldn't remember her own dog, and the dejected look on Jake's face when Aubrey pulled out of their drive way absolutely shattered her heart. It killed her to know that Beca was probably sleeping soundly in the other room yet she cried herself to sleep every night. It killed her to know that Beca has no idea what is going on in her head right now. It killed her to know that Beca still doesn't know about the new addition to the family. But what hurt more than that is that if she told Beca, the brunette might bolt. And no, Beca hasn't exactly got a track record of running when things get tough, but she still can't risk telling her just yet. She still thinks she's 19 years old for God's sake, why would she be okay with having a child?

And what else killed her? The fact that she couldn't hold her wife. The fact that she couldn't kiss her goodnight, or cuddle her when she was cold. The fact that there was a wall in between them, and she had to sleep in the spare room all alone. The spare room that will probably be used for their new baby. It killed her that she couldn't tell Beca what was happening with her. It killed her that Beca would probably never know just how much she was hurting too. But what she wasn't aware of, was the fact that Beca too cried herself to sleep every night, cursing herself for not being able to remember Chloe. Cursing herself for bringing the redhead so much pain.

Chloe let out a breath of air as she pulled her phone out and texted Aubrey to ask her when she was going to be here. As she put her phone away, she bit her lip as she thought about where she was going, and that she would have to lie to Beca about where she was going as well. Again.

She walked into the bedroom to see the brunette nodding her head along with her headphones on her head. She could hear Panic! At The Disco's 'Memories' quietly coming from the headphones, and she put on a smile as she realized that Beca must have found her latest playlist on her iPod. Another thing that killed Chloe; the fact that Beca hadn't even touched her music equipment since she got home.

They were young and independent,
And they thought they had it planned.
Should have known right from the start
You can't predict the end.
Oh Memories.
Where'd you go?
You were all I've ever known,
How I miss yesterday.
How'd I let it fade away?