When I look at you

When my world is falling apart

"People say that you don't know what you have until it's gone. The truth is, you know exactly what you had; you just never thought you'd lose it."

Chloe always understood that quote. She understood that people take things for granted, and that once you lose that thing that you have taken for granted, it will haunt you for the rest of your life. However, she didn't take Beca for granted. Not at all. But that didn't stop the sick, twisted world she lived in, from taking Beca way from her. It didn't stop the world from going against her, damaging the one thing that meant the whole world to her.

She hadn't said anything for a full five minutes, not that Beca was counting, and the brunette was not gonna lie; it was starting to worry her. She didn't dare to move, or say anything else. Why was Chloe being so silent? Was she even still breathing? She figured that the when she broke the news to Chloe, she'd be happy that she was being released. That she'd smile, tell her she was so proud of her. Proud that she had recovered from the accident so quickly, and proud that she has been so strong since day one. But no, instead.. instead, she got nothing.

Eventually, the redhead snapped out of her trance, and looked at Beca with sad eyes, although the brunette didn't see the sadness in them. Not like she would have done a month ago. A month ago, she would have known exactly how Chloe was feeling, just by looking in her eyes. But now? Now, she has no idea.

"That's great news." Chloe whispered, offering a small smile, and absolutely anybody could see the sadness behind the smile. The heartbreak.

"What was it that you wanted to say?" Beca then asked quietly, curious as to why Chloe hadn't said anything else yet.

Chloe's eyebrows knitted together as she was still taking in the news. Don't tell her now! her mind argued. Don;t do it. And she went with it, because there was no way that she was going to tell Beca now. Why should she? I mean, Beca can't even remember her. Beca's made her decision to stay with Jesse and Aubrey until she can find her own place to live. They were Beca's decisions, and Chloe doesn't want to be the drawback of that. She doesn't want to plant the fact that she's pregnant on Beca's shoulders, because that will just make things even more fucked up than they already are.

Yes, don't tell her. Keep it to yourself, and nobody will get hurt.

She sighed, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as she looked ahead of her, not feeling like she could look Beca in the eye. "It was nothing."

"Sure? You can tell me if you-"

"-It was nothing, I've forgotten now anyway." she lied through a smile, and sighed in relief when she saw Aubrey and Jesse walking towards them. She got up quickly, walking over to her best friend and offering her a smile, but immediately, Aubrey noticed that there was something wrong.

"What've you guys been talking about?" The blonde asked, smiling down at Beca as she placed a comforting hand on her best friend's shoulder.

"Beca was just telling me how she's been released." Chloe said, and she immediately felt tears spring to her eyes as she repeated the words. She turned her head so neither Beca, Jesse or Aubrey could see her, and she breathed out a sigh as a single tear fell down her face.

"Chloe. Chloe, are you okay?"

The voice belonged to Beca. And just hearing the girl's voice sent even more tears rolling down the redhead's face. She quickly pushed Aubrey's not-so-comforting hand off of her, and turned around. "I'm sorry." was all the trio heard before Chloe was running away from them. Running further and further away until she crashed through the doors of the hospital and ran to the bathroom once again.

She fell to the floor in one of the cubicles, leaning over the toilet as tears came crashing down like a tidal wave. She started to cough, and she gripped the edge of the toilet seat until it turned her knuckles white. Her back arched as she threw up into the toilet for what seemed like the thousandth time since the accident. She carried on crying, carried on coughing and throwing up. This went on for about ten minutes before she finally pulled away from the toilet and leaned against the door of the cubicle.