When I look at you

I will carry you

"You ready?"

The redhead nodded slightly, unsure of whether she was actually ready or not.

"I'll be right outside if you need me."

It was about twenty minutes after Aubrey and Chloe had arrived back at the hospital. After about three hours of listening to Chloe crying from downstairs, Aubrey decided that she should help Chloe get a shower at take her back to the hospital so she could see Beca. Seeing her best friend in such a state was absolutely killing the blonde, and she was convinced that the longer Chloe spent not seeing Beca, the worse she would get. So Aubrey decided to reason with the redhead and tell her that she should go and see Beca or else she'll just feel worse and worse about herself.

It didn't help that on the way back, they drove past the crime scene. Just the sight of the blood on the ground and the yellow 'police line do not cross' banners made the redhead almost sick to her stomach. She had to turn away, squeezing her eyes shut as if it would take her back in time, or to a better place. If only she could go back though. She would go back in time, if she could, and she'd change everything. First of all, she wouldn't have picked an argument with her wife for no reason. But she'd definitely go straight back to the beach house after they'd been to the music store. She wouldn't let Beca take her for breakfast on the pier because if that didn't happen, then she wouldn't be here now. If that didn't happen, then Beca wouldn't be dying.

The redhead took a deep breath, fighting back the tears as she held Beca's bag, with her clean clothes and her laptop in, in one hand, and her guitar in the other. The blonde opened the door for her and it took her a few seconds, but Chloe took one step into the room. She took a few more small steps and she was immediately greeted by the stench of antibacterial wash, and the normal stereotypical smell of a hospital room. She squeezed her eyes shut as she heard Aubrey close the door behind her. Now there was nobody else in the room except her and Beca.

Then the redhead opened her eyes.

There laid Beca, looking as small and fragile as ever. She had a white bandage wrapped around her head, and a patch of blood had formed on the right hand side where the wound was. What Chloe didn't know though, was that underneath the bandage, a part of her hair was shaven from where the doctors had to shave it off to treat the bullet wound. Her skin was pale, paler than normal. Paler than the sheets. She almost looked like a ghost. Her previously pink, plump lips were now colorless, almost a grayish color. You couldn't even see that her chest was slowly rising with every breath she took. The only sign that showed she was still alive was the sound of the beeping heart monitor at the side of her bed.

Chloe took another deep breath, trying her hardest not to break down at the sight of her wife like this. She placed the bag on the floor, and stood the guitar upright at the side of the bed. She pulled the chair as close as she could towards the bed and sat down on it. She hesitated at first, afraid that if she touched the brunette, she'd crumble into a million pieces of rubble, but eventually she took her wife's hand in hers, and stroked her thumb over it gently.

"Hey you." she whispered in a croaky voice. She cleared her throat, realizing that she hadn't spoken a word since Aubrey broke the news to her a few hours ago.

She looked beside her at the heart monitor and noted that the woman's breathing was perfectly fine. She looked back at her wife, and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, leaving her hand to linger on her cheek.

"I normally have to force like, five sleeping pills down your throat to get you to actually go to sleep." she laughed lightly, thinking of how Beca always wants to stay up to mix music, even if she's tired. She sighed. "Now I'd just do absolutely anything for you to wake up."