Blame Me

Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Elise

Everything felt blue. As I blinked my eyes rapidly to keep them open, I felt the feeling of blue. It made no sense, but being tired always felt like blue.

The air was filled with the aroma of coffee and banana bread, which were both being made in the kitchen that I was standing in at the moment. The room and every other room in Angie's apartment was spotless, I made sure that they were. I needed something to occupy my mind after memories starting plaguing my mind and questions. The stupid questions started forming and they were nagging me to be answered. And I couldn't, I couldn't answer them because there were no answers and if there were, I wouldn't have been awake all night sorting out Angie's apartment to make myself forget.

I heard the sound of the door opening, but I made no move to see who had come it, instead I stared at the clock on the oven that read 7:30. I was awake for the past five hours and I only had an hour of sleep last night. No wonder my eyes were practically screaming bloody murder to the light.

"Elise?" I heard Dani call from the living room. I didn't turn around, I already knew what was coming next. "You didn't go to sleep did you?" she accused me.

I sighed before nodding, "I couldn't," I stated simply, not taking my gaze away from the clock.

I heard Dani sigh as her footsteps came closer to the kitchen, "You promised you would take care of yourself," she said coming up beside me.

I didn't say anything. I heard this conversation so many times, I had memorized it. And I was sick of it. I couldn't change it, I thought it would be obvious after so many years of the accusation.

"You care too much for others that you forget to take care of yourself -" Dani started saying.

" - There's a limit to how much you take care of others, your health has to be your first priority," I finished for her, "I know Dani," I looked at her to see the annoyance and concern in her eyes.

I couldn't count the number of times that she looked at me with that expression. Every night for two years after we moved here she would stand in the doorway of my room, sometime in the middle of the night, displaying that expression as I sat on the floor of my room in the dark. Thinking, always thinking.

Now, I just stopped trying to think about it. That way she wouldn't have to worry about me.

"God, Elise you're impossible," Dani muttered under her breath, moving to sit on a stool by the kitchen counter.

"Sorry," I whispered, looking down at my feet.

Dani groaned, "No, you have nothing to be sorry about, you just have to understand that we're going to worry because we care about you, and we want the best for you,"

I didn't say anything, instead I checked on the coffee and banana bread, both which we done and busied myself with the food.

"Take care of yourself," Dani pleaded, "I know you're sick of hearing me say it but just take care of yourself,"

I smiled softly at her, feeling my eyes droop with tiredness, "Of course,"

Dani groaned again and snatched a slice of banana bread that I was cutting, "You're impossible,"

I chuckled and poured Dani and myself some coffee, "Is Angie awake yet?" I asked.

Angie and Eva decided to spend the rest of the night up in our apartment. We weren't certain or not if Andy would come back, but we didn't want to risk it.