His Last Vow (Johnlock)

Chapter 7: His Fate Lies in the Balance

Hallo!

Another chapter! Yay! This started out as a horrible chapter that I hated then it sort of spiralled out of control and even though I still don't like it. Trust. Me. It's better then it was.

It's half arse written so I apologise in advance for its horribleness, I'll read over it on the morrow and do some revisions, but for now I've procrastinated far too much and I need to write an essay for English. That's due tonight. At midnight. In three hours. That I haven started yet. Oops.

Ah well! On a side note, I like seriously cried whilst writing part of this. So beware of dem feels.

*whispers to self evilly* I love murdering all your feels >:)

Ahem. Sorry. My Moffat showed there a bit.

ANYWHO! Almost 700 reads!!! O.O *dying whale noise* I love you all!!!!

Please, please, please give me your feedback on it in the comments and remember to VOTE!!!!

Xoxo,

Molly

Sherlock

I can feel myself tremor with the excitement of a new case. Three bloody long weeks cooped up in the flat without a case was dreadful. It's not that no one had any cases. Definitely not that. Loads of cases were offered to me from Lestrade and various clients, but I turned them all down without even taking a glance at them. I couldn't bring myself to take a case and have my ailing blogger exhausting himself trying to keep up with me.

Speaking of John, he has been doing better, but I still worry about him immensely. His wellbeing consumes my every thought. There is not a moment that passes that I don't thinking about him. I constantly watch him at the corner of my eye. I follow him, unbeknownst to him, when he leaves the flat. After he's gone to bed, I sneak into his room, sit on the floor, and watch him sleep. I've dozed off a couple times whilst there, but I always wake early enough so John doesn't see me there. I don't think he'd like it anyways. Of course we are officially together now but, nothing has changes except the occasional cuddling, stolen kisses, and lingering touches. We still sleep in separate beds, but I'd feel much better if John slept by my side.

I am not familiar with the concept of relationships. I know the scientific structure it stands on, but it's difficult for me to provide the physical demands that come with a relationship. I know I love John with my entire being, but I'm afraid that I may not be able to provide John with everything he expects in a relationship. I'm afraid that I'll disappoint him. I have been saving files to my Mind Palace from various romance novels and films on how people act around each other when in a committed relationship. I have been using said information with John and it seems to be working, but I still feel that it won't be enough for him. That it won't be enough for me. I want everything to be perfect for him, even though every day I feel like I am dying all over again. Every kiss, every touch always feels like it can be our last and one day it will be.

I glance at my John who is looking out the window with a small smile playing on his lips and his dapper sunglasses on. I've got to admit he looks good with them on. John senses me staring and looks at me as a full smile spreads across his face.

"What?" He asks, still smiling.

"You look happy."

"Of course I am. You've finally taken a case, we're out of the flat, I feel fantastic, and I have you. What is there to not be happy about?" He smiles at me goofily.

You're dying.

"I can't think of a thing." I smile back.

The rest of our journey falls in silence and we pull up to the entrance of Saint Bart's shortly thereafter.