You Will Be Found || dear evan hansen (connor x evan)

chapter one

      It didn't work.

     Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Evan scolded himself, staring up at the sky. He felt his left side go numb, starting at his arm and trailing up into his shoulder. He tried to get up, he really did, but a sharp pain shot through his system and he fell back down into the ditch. It was getting darker; Evan wiped a raindrop off the tip of his nose, watching as tiny droplets of water littered the grass. He was alone, in the middle of the forest, next to the tallest climb-able tree he could find. It was wide, with branches stretching farther than any other tree in the vicinity. He watched as the auburn leaves swayed back and forth, some falling and others holding on for dear life.

     He waited.

     He waited for hours on end, for somebody, anybody, to come running down the dirt-covered path, calling his name. He waited for somebody to reach for him, eyes glowing like flashlights in the cooling air. He waited for somebody to remember him. To find him. To glance. To even acknowledge that he was missing. He waited for his mother's frantic texts, for his phone to be ringing off the hook... he waited for a sign that his existence meant anything at all.

     Everything was the same as it had been before he came. The clouds were still moving, the wind was still blowing. The branches were still swaying, the leaves still drifting gracefully to the ground below. Except now, a troubled boy laid under a frowning oak tree in the frost coated grass. 

     Evan thought that maybe if he closed his eyes, it'd be over. He could wake up in a different world where he isn't himself, where he could speak without stuttering and walk without tripping over his own two feet. He thought if maybe he could just close his eyes, even for a second, he'd just fade away the way the leaves did.

     But instead, there he was, lying in the middle of a quiet forest hopelessly blinking in attempt to rid himself of this mess that he was. Only Evan Hansen could fuck up killing himself. He glanced up at the tree, wondering if he should do it again, if maybe that would lighten the heavy stone in his chest. 

     Instead, he held his arm to his stomach and hobbled across the forest floor, forever wishing he'd climbed just one branch higher.