You Will Be Found || dear evan hansen (connor x evan)

chapter four

     "You what?" Evan said, looking at his mom in a defensive manner. He couldn't believe the words that came out of her mouth. 

      "Evan, I'm worried about you. You haven't been yourself lately," Heidi crossed her arms, angry that Evan was giving her such a hard time about this. She was sick of being the bad guy, but Evan meant too much to her for her to just ignore this. In her mind, she was being a good mom. But in Evan's, she was sentencing him to social suicide. 

     "That-That doesn't mean y-you get me a fucking therapist! I'm not broken, I'm f-fine." 

     He couldn't be the weird kid. Not now. Not with Connor breathing down his neck. What if Jared found out? He'd tell everyone. No. Evan was not going to be the weird kid again. 

     "Hey," Heidi paused, looking at the way Evan's face scrunched up as he held back his tears. He looked like a dam that was seconds from bursting. "Evan," she walked to him, wrapped her arms around his shaking body and held him. "I just want to help."

     "When," Evan choked out, almost inaudibly. 

    Heidi just sighed, letting go. "Tomorrow, after school. I'll pick you up in the back by the tennis courts, okay?" Evan nodded, walking back to his room. He sat on the edge of his bed, silent for a second, then erupted with sobs like a volcano. Dormant on the outside, but filled with bubbling lava within. He wrapped his arms around himself, longing for Connor's warm hands and soft skin and kind eyes. He decided to text Jared to see if he could stay over; Evan couldn't trust himself in his current state.

Evan

Are you busy tonight?

Jared

Mildly. Why?

Evan

Wanna stay over?

Jared

Evan, how many times do I have to tell you? We're family friends

It's a whole different thing

Evan

Oh right. Sorry

     Evan sighed, throwing his phone on the bed. How could he be so stupid to think that he was worth anyone's time? Though he was starving out of his mind, he couldn't bring himself to check the cupboards when he knew exactly what was going to be in there. A loaf of wheat bread, and maybe, if he was lucky, some jam in the lukewarm fridge. He could ask his mom to order, but he was sure she had left for work already. Instead of eating, Evan just sighed, pulling his knees to his chest and tucking himself in. 

     What a wonderful world indeed.