He's not my dad

Epilogue

Chucks POV

I will never understand how Taylor was able to take my heart and hold on to it for all these years. Taylor has my heart and had done since we met. I would never love again and I didn't want to.

I drink the cool water and watch as my sons run across the warm sand, I missed the first year of Harry's life and I will regret it until the day I die.

He looks like his mom and more importantly hasher attitude. He's so calm and confident. He's a good brother to his younger brother River. He's patient and caring, my boys are so different. River is like me, he's temperamental and very loud.

It was the birth of river that made me grow up and assume responsibility for Harry. Well that and the fact that I got alcohol posing and collapsed as Tina gave birth. As strange as it sounds I didn't realise I had a problem, I knew I drank a lot and I knew my drug use was high but I didn't think it was an issue.

I was put into a private rehab facility who helped me to see i had a problem. The way my body fought as the drugs left my system could only be described as inhuman. My body would shake and I would swear , going cold turkey had been like nothing I had ever experienced. It was hard to kick the habit but I did it, my family was what got me through. My parents, Tina and even Taylor visited me. It was Taylor's visit that had helped me the most, she had told me she forgave me. I didn't realise that I needed her forgiveness but when she gave it me I cried, I cried like a baby. I had asked that she leave me a photo of Harry, she did and I kept it by my bed. I would look at for hours and tell myself that he needed his dad, he needed his dad to be sober.

Tina and I went our separate ways when river was only 4 months old, she had started dating someone who actually loved her. I don't blame her Jimmy is a great man, he's a great step father to river.

I continued to perform with the band until the urge to join in with the parting overwhelmed me. The band parted and I started my solo career, I've found some success but I'm no superstar. I'm 4 years clean now, I don't even smoke now. I'm thankfully a different person now, if I wasn't I wouldn't be a part of my children's life.

"River, stop throwing stones", this kid is hard work, he doesn't stop.

I look over at Taylor as she sits on the ledge of the fountain. Her honey blonde hair blows in the wind as she watches the kids running around. The smile on her face was a permanent fixture recently, she was happy. Her freckles stood out in the hot sun, she looked so young and carefree. Life had been good to her, she works as a life coach now. Taylor doesn't need money, she cares more about helping others through her own experiences. It's one of the things I love about her.

"Harry, please stop running. Your shoe laces are untied" Taylor calls as Harry almost trips.

Taylor is a good mother, my son couldn't possible have a better parent. Unlike me she has always put Harry first, I will never be able to repay her for that.

The kids are running around with the other party guests, I can't believe Harry is 4 already.

I look at my dad who is stood by the buffet table with a plate of food in his hand. My dad is talking to Taylor's parents, they are good friends which makes things easier for family events. I'm lucky that everyone has taken me back into their life , I'm there for every one of Harry's important life events. There are no awkward moment and I'm a big part of Harry's life now.

My dad and I still have a strained relationship, I can understand why. I'm sure I would find it difficult if my son had dated and created a life with the woman I loved. I've done some bad things in my life that have hurt people around me but I wouldn't take back the thing that had hurt my dad so deeply. I would not change the fact that Taylor and I had gotten together, I believe she is my soul mate.

My life hasn't ended up as I had hoped it would, I don't have Taylor and I know I won't have her again. I broke her, it had taken so much for her to pull her life together again. Taylor would never let herself be hurt by me again, even if she were single I know we wouldn't be together. Taylor may have forgiven me but she would never forget what I did nor would she give me the chance to hurt her again.

Things with us are a little strange now, Taylor is back with my dad. I was weirded out when I found out but I can't say I blame either of them. They have supported each other for the last 3 years and their relationship seems as strong as it could possibly be.

The way my dad looks at Taylor is so familiar, it's how I look at her. It's clear to see that he loves her and would do anything to make her happy. I'm glad they have each other I just wish it was me, I wish I hadn't blown my chance. You only get one soul mate and mine is engaged to my dad.

They are like the perfect family , Harry even calls my father dad. He calls me chuck, he knows me as his brother not his father. Taylor says she will tell him the truth when he's old enough to grasp it, at first it had hurt but I now know it's for the best. I didn't deserve the right to be Harry's father, my dad had brought him up. Im known as Harry's older brother and that's good enough for me. As long as he knows that I love him and will always be there for him that's good enough for me. I don't need the label dad, that's not what matters.

The two most important people in my life are happy and i will be forever grateful to my dad for giving them the happiness I couldn't. Maybe in another life it could be me who gets the girl.

The end

Thank you for reading I hope you enjoyed this book x I have a new book out. Please give it a try

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