Behind Closed Doors

Three Terrifying Words

Tommy POV

"What the hell was that Adam?!" I yelled angrily.
"I mean, I know we're not together or anything but I thought I at least meant something to you! I shouldn't even care. We're not boyfriends. It was just casual right? No strings attached. Going on romantic dates with me then kissing him. You could've just told me you weren't interested instead of leading me on. Out of pity, was it? Felt bad for me? Fuck you!"

I collapsed to the ground, clutching my stomach as I completely broke down. I fell in love with him, how could he do this to me?

Adam stood in front of me in utter shock. He'd followed me from Monte's house and tried to stop me. I tried to ignore him but I snapped.

Suddenly, something seemed to click with him.

"You thought you meant nothing to me? That this entire thing was all one sided? Tommy... I lo-. I care about you. A lot. I can't risk losing you." He sounded so defeated. I'd never seen Adam look so lost. Swallowing my anger for a second, I decided to hear him out.

"What was that with Brad then Adam? I saw you two."
"That was Brad being an absolute asshole and kissing me without my permission. The bit you didn't see was me pushing him away and telling him to get the fuck out of my life. Our lives."

"Oh" I felt so stupid. "I'm sorry I didn't listen to you. I'm just paranoid that this means more to me than you. I don't like all that 'talk about your feelings' bullshit but you're the only one who cares. No ones ever cared before, Adam. And.. and I'm falling for you. But I'm scared. Caring gets my heart broken."
"Oh Tommy..." he whispered, pulling me into him and embracing me like I would fall apart.

I carefully pushed him to arms length when I was sure I could hold myself together without breaking. He wiped a tear from my cheek.

"And Adam, right now I'm fucking terrified. B-because...I think." I paused and kissed him softly, whispering the seven scariest words I've ever spoken against his soft lips.

"I think I'm in love with you."

Silence. No one moved. He stared into my eyes with his endless ocean ones, as if searching for any lie in what I just told him. A small smile graced his lips as he realised that it was probably the truest thing I've ever said.

Without warning, he surged forward and captured my lips with his. This was unlike any other kiss we'd shared before. This was slow but passionate, such a small gesture that said so much.
It said those 3 words I'd been wanting to here from him for so long, without saying anything at all.

Adam pulled back. And then he did say it. He made it all worth it.

"I love you."

"Well thank fuck, cause that could've gotten really awkward." He grinned at my attempt at humour.
"Way to ruin the moment Tommy Joe." He laughed.
"I don't think it's ruined. Anyway, who said anything about just one moment?"
I leant closer and licked the shell of his ear, making him shudder.
"We've got all night..." I whispered.

He moaned softly then practically dragged me all the way back to his apartment, stopping every 2 minutes to kiss me senseless. Finally we made it back, and needless to say, it was one of the best nights of my life.

Adam made me forget about everything other than him and me and us. Suddenly Brad and my parents and everyone else were just a figment of my imagination. We were the only two people in the word, tangled up in each other, confessing 'I love you's and forgetting what it ever felt like to be lonely. Remembering how it feels to be in love. Learning to love each other.

Softly, Adam sang me to sleep, with what I assumed was an original song he hadn't shared with the band yet.

I had a vision that the colours had bled away
and I had nothing to follow
Was in a prison and my life was stuck on replay
And all my wishes were hollow

You were a beam of light
Lit up my broken sky
There was just something about you
I had a vision and it painted the world for me
And now I'm laying beside you

I don't need to wander any more
I have found what I've been looking for
I don't need a map to know the way
I don't need a map to tell me where I'm at

Now I believe in more than I can see
Now I can breathe again and
I don't need a map to know the way
I don't need a map, you'll always light the path

The dawn is bright and
My perception is open wide
You know you flooded my senses
What you inspire is a feeling I can't describe
Forgotten all my defences

You were a beam of light
Lit up my broken sky
There was just something about you, ooh
I had a vision and you painted the world for me
And now I'm staying beside you

I don't need to wander any more
I have found what I've been looking for
I don't need a map to know the way
I don't need a map to tell me where I'm at

Now I believe in more than I can see
Now I can breathe again and
I don't need a map to know the way
I don't need a map, you'll always light the path

I fell asleep with 3 words on the tip of my tongue.

"I love you" I whispered as I drifted off into a world where I could dream of the man who had become my world.

"I love you too Tommy Joe. Goodnight darling."

I fell into a deep sleep, the last two words he said floating around my subconscious.

"You're beautiful."

And I couldn't help but think absentmindedly how I'm only beautiful with him. His love makes me beautiful. It's all I need.