Behind Closed Doors

It Hurts

Adam POV

Four days after my frankly, perfect, date with Tommy Joe, Nothing To Hide (the band) had practically produced an album. I was so proud of us, and considering the lyrics were mainly written by me, I felt a sense of responsibility to deliver these songs with as much meaning and emotion as I could.

We had 12 original songs already! There was: Cuckoo, Trespassing, For Your Entertainment, Strut, Soaked, Fever, Map, Beg For Mercy, Crawl Through The Fire, Naked Love, Pop That Lock and Shady.

My favourite so far is Fever as it brings back some pretty good 'after rehearsal memories' of Tommy and I kissing passionately on the sofa in my living room. Just thinking about that day sent shivers down my spine.
The feel of his lips on mine, hands and hearts, holding each other close, dancing to our favourite songs. I think I might be falling for him. No, I know I'm falling for him, and falling hard.

He's everything I've been looking for.
He's the one.

So I'm romantic, sue me. Anyway, I feel like I know a lot about him but at the same time I don't. I don't know his specific age but he looks only a couple years younger than me. Then again, I'd never seen him minus the make up, and vice versa to be honest. Maybe 20? Something like that. I should ask him sometime, but it's not really bothering me.

Suddenly, my phone started to ring while sat on my table, indicating a call. Startled out of my thoughts by Christina Perri singing 'A Thousand Years', to remind me of my first date with the man of my dreams, I swiped accept on the screen.

"Hello?" I asked, not knowing who was on the other end of the line.
"Ah, hello. Adam is it? Adam Lambert, from Nothing To Hide?"
"Yes that's me." I said excitedly. He mentioned the band, this could be an opportunity!

"My name is Darren, manager of the bar in town. You know, 'The Lion's Roar'?"
"Oh right, hello Darren, how may I help you?"
"Well, we remember you coming to see us earlier this week asking whether you could perform, but we already had a band booked. However, their lead singer got food poisoning so they can't perform. How would you and your band like to take over?"

Squealing silently, I did a little dance on the spot.
"We would love to Darren. Just tell us when and we'll be there. Do you need to hear our music first?"
"No it's fine, I trust you're good. You better be good." He chuckled.
"Of course" I grinned.
"Right, it's tonight from 20:00 until 22:00. How much music do you have?"
"We've got around 45 minutes of original songs, but we can work covers in between them."
"Sounds good, see you tonight. Thank you and good luck!"
"No, thank you. The opportunity means the world to us, see you tonight!"

I hung up quickly to tell the others the news. First I called Isaac who I knew would drag Cam over here with him. Those two aren't a couple but they sure as hell act like one. It's only a matter of time. I smiled to myself. They'd be really cute together actually.

Speaking of cute, next I rang up Tommy and told him to get his perfect ass over here to hear my news. I could almost feel his blush from over the phone as he agreed and hung up.

9:00pm at The Lion's Roar

So far the night had been amazing. No mistakes yet and I hadn't forgotten any lyrics. Hopefully this last hour would go just as smoothly. We had yet to perform our last 4 original songs among lots of covers, ranging from country to hard core rock and roll. The audience loved it. The energy in the room was like an electric current flowing through the air, feeding into the adrenaline of being on a stage (granted not a big one), doing what I love.

Tommy seemed like he was having a great time too when I glanced over at him during Fever. He blushed when I caught his eye, which I'm pretty sure I told him was adorable the first night we met. Thank god for that night.

The rest of the hour ran smoothly with only minor hiccups in a couple of covers from lack of rehearsal time in my apartment. I'm surprised the neighbours haven't complained about the noise yet, or maybe they appreciate good music and like hearing us play as a band. Either way, it's a good thing.

It was 22:34 by the time we got back to my apartment, still buzzing with energy from the small show. It may have been small, but it's something isn't it? And something always leads to something else.

"Hey guys, there's a party at my mate Monte's house. Wanna check it out? 'Cause I don't know about you but I feel practically high after that show." Isaac exclaimed.
Cam and Tommy both nodded in agreement, wearing matching Cheshire Cat style grins. I love Tommy's smile. Or anything that indicates he's happy. I only ever want to make him happy.

We headed over to Monte's place in a cab, predicting none of us would be sober enough to drive home.

To be fair, Tommy did stay absolutely alcohol free until a certain familiar face appeared in the crowd.

"Oh god. Now I need a drink." He mumbled, downing a shot of who knows what, wincing as it burned his throat.
"Damn." He whispered. "That stuffs strong."

"Yeah, I'd be careful how much of that you drink. Three shots can get me out of my mind." Brad's voice came from behind me, statement aimed at Tommy.

I turned around slowly.

"You're already out of your mind." I heard Tommy mutter bitterly.

"Brad." I greeted coldly, but at least attempted to be civil.
"Adam." He greeted back, a smile on his face and his hand held out towards mine. In a flash he took it and was dragging me through a sea of people into an empty room at the end of a corridor.

"Brad, what the hell are you doing?!" I whisper-shouted, not wanting to make a scene even though we were the only ones in the room,

"This." He replied with a smirk, before leaning in and pressing his lips to mine with force. I kissed back only for a second, momentarily sinking back into the familiarity of it all.

I gently pushed him away, feeling slightly guilty that his kisses couldn't make me feel anything anymore. He leant in again, initiating another kiss. But before I could push him away and tell him no, I heard a door open and a small gasp.

Turning suddenly to see Tommy's back pushing through the crowd towards the exit, I cursed and started to follow. However, Brad grabbed my wrist and pleaded with me not to leave him.

"Stay Adam. Please. I love you, I always have. I'm sorry about everything. Don't tell me that kiss meant nothing to you."

"You know Brad, I used to feel loved when you kissed me like that but now I feel used. How many other guys were you thinking of while you were kissing me like you meant it? Just leave me alone Brad. I-I can't take you being near me anymore." A tear ran down my face.

"It hurts." I whispered brokenly, before running after Tommy. The one that makes me feel loved, the one who makes me feel love... I need to explain.

I just hope to God he'll listen, because if not my entire world will fall apart.

Again.