Carmen
My breaths are shallow, my shoulders hunched. I'm still sitting on the bed that replaced Mia's, and I'm staring at the potential bastard. I squinted, as if me looking closer could show his thoughts and secrets.
"What are you hiding?" I whispered, going over everything in my head.
Could he have done it? I mean, I remember him saying that we should leave Mia behind, when we left MS13.. I remember him seeming nervous and hesitant when going to the hospital before me, and I know he has been- can I call it "sucking up?"- kissing/sucking up to me before and during this case.
How could I accuse him?
But he must have done it. Who else could have? I mean, how could he have known to call me before he was knocked out, unless he knew what was going to happen.
I groaned, rubbing my temples, unsure of what to say when he wakes up.
I heard coughing about a minute later. Well, speak of the devil, Ashton's waking up.
"Ca-Carmen?"
I took a deep breath, opened my closed eyes, and looked over to him. His eyes were barely open, and he was breathing deeply. "Why do I hurt? Why does my head ache so much?"
I took a deep breath; choose your words wisely, Carmen. I was thinking over what to say when it just... slipped out. My anger and depression and sorrow overtook the control.
"Don't you dare act like you don't know." I said, the last few words within clenched teeth. I stood up.
"What?" Ashton said. "Carmen, what are you talking-"
"Just shut up!" I shrieked. "I'm not taking your fucking bullshit now, Ashton!"
He began to sit up. "Carmen, what the hell are you talking about?"
"You know what I'm talking about." I said, pointing a shaky finger at him. I took deep breaths, in an attempt to calm myself.
"Carmen, I honestly don't have any-" He paused, looking around and rubbing his temples. "Where's Mia?"
Mia. I started to shake even more, and hugged my shoulders. But I took a deep breath and straightened up, so I didn't show my fear and doubt. "Mia.... is... Mia is dead, Ashton. And do you know what happened?"
He shook his head. He wasn't even crying.
"She was stabbed in the chest, Ashton." I said, tears spilling over my cheeks. "And do you know what that means? I had a potential best friend, a potential someone to care about me. She even had information on a connection to the men! But... that wasn't the only reason. She was broken, Ashton. Just... just like me." I said, pointing to my heart with my pointer finger. "In different ways, but we were both broken, and she was the first person I ever met who could potentially understand!" I was bawling now, wiping away the tears.
"But Carmen," Ashton said, "I care."
I looked back at him. "No you don't."
"Yes I-"
"NO YOU DON'T!" I screamed. He looked taken aback. I turned around, hunching my shoulders and staring at the ground. I heard shuffling, but I shrugged it off.
He doesn't care. No one ever has, no one ever will. How could he start now? I knew he had a thing for me before, it was probably just to show off. He never actually cared.
Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I jumped a bit, but turned around.
"Ashton," I said. "You shouldn't be out of bed."
"This is an exception," he whispered.
Then he kissed me.
I was completely surprised, especially now that he could be a potential murder suspect, but... it was nice. Feeling his lips on mine, how ours molded together. How he didn't push me at all, or forced me onto his bed. He wasn't like that. He didn't even ask permission, but I did. I don't even know how long we stood there, us kissing, all of my thoughts of murder and hate slipped my mind.
He pulled away. "See," He whispered.
Suddenly it all flew back to me. "But.. Ashton, this doesn't make up for the fact that you don't care and no one does. Even though that was one hell of a kiss, it doesn't mean you actually love-"
He kissed me again.
This one didn't last as long. I pulled away when I heard him whimper. "Ashton?"
"Head," He groaned.
"I told you that you should be in bed," I said, the first smile in months appearing on my face. I led him to his bed, tucked him in. "Sleep."
He nodded, and smiled.
-
I've been looking out the hospital room's window for God knows how long. I should be looking at papers, document the happenings, just remind myself on our position and facts.
I tiptoed over to Ashton's nerdy office bag, and filed through. I looked over to him.
I hissed as I felt something prick my finger, and when it came back it was bloody. But not with just my blood. I felt through carefully, and grabbed something solid, like a hilt.
I pulled it out, and my accusations became stronger.
It was a knife, fresh with Mia's blood. Too fresh to be anyone else's. I looked over to Ashton, my eyes squinting. I looked back to the knife, and back at him.
I'm walking on thin ice, and now I know that I could fall through at any moment.
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