Carmen
I don't know if my idiocy has ever reached a higher point than now.
I'm still sitting here, staring at the black bag, occasionally flicking my glance to Ashton and back. I keep getting these.... flashes, these memories of the bad things he might have done and to the kiss we shared.
What the hell am I doing? One minute, I'm confident in my partner and then I walked in here. The next minute, I'm accusing him of murder. The next, I kiss him. The next, I find a bloody knife in his bag. What's happened? What happened to him?
To me?
I don't remember the days in which I felt normal and sane. I don't remember feeling loved. I don't remember anything that didn't include crime, violence, or accusation, or even emptiness.
I hear a groan, and my gaze flies to the sleeping figure on the bed. It was moving, slightly, moving to a position on its back. I sucked in my breath.
"Carmen?"
I swallowed. I need to pretend I don't know, to avoid making him angry. "Mhm?" I said, walking to his bed.
He smiled. "I'm so glad you're here. I... I need you right now." He sighed and took my hand, and my heart rate went into hyper speed. But I nodded anyways. He began to sit up, and then let go of my hand to support himself. He stood.
"You... you shouldn't be standing, Ashton," I said. "Your body is not in a good enough condition to-"
"Aw, shut up, Carmen." My breath caught as I noticed he was slowly pushing me backward, to his bag. My heart sped, and I feared for my life. Something that I normally don't worry for.
He kept pushing me backward, holding my wrists in his hands, and I listened anyways. I tried to seem happy, to seem that I thought that he was being loving. Suddenly, my back hit the wall, and we were standing right beside his bag.
But, then, he just kissed me. Against the wall, his hands not holding a knife but supporting himself against the wall. I had my hands at my sides at first, but then they slowly rose as I relaxed. They wrapped around his neck, lazily, as we kissed.
I didn't acknowledge any fear, I just kissed him. I couldn't help it.
But my instincts overcame me, and I couldn't handle playing with him like that. I snapped back into reality minutes later, and pushed him away. He stumbled, and as he did I ran to my things and whipped out the gun I always carry. I pointed it straight at him.
Ashton's eyes were wide, and he was standing by his bed. He slowly rose his hands, understanding how to act around me. "C-Carmen," He stuttered. "Please... I... I don't know what you're thinking, but please, but the gun down."
I scoffed, and said nothing.
"Carmen," Ashton said, trying to soothe me. "You aren't thinking straight. Ah! You must be hallucinating. Who am I to you?"
I hesitated, and decided to say nothing.
"You must think I'm Zayn! But, Carmen, listen, it's Ashton. You know the one you kissed? The one you love-"
"Love?" I scoffed. "Love. Ha! Love. You think that I would love someone who did such a thing? You think someone who fucking cared about me would do that?!"
"What the hell are you thinking, Carmen?" He said.
I said nothing, but I did cock the gun and rested my finger on the trigger, the gun pointed straight at the man I thought I loved.
"Carmen-"
"Please," I said. "Shut up! SHUT UP! I don't know what shit caused you to come into my life like this, what damn shit forced you to be my annoyance for some time, my rock and salvation for an even shorter time, and then turn against me? WHY?"
Ashton leaned back, but I didn't see what he did.
"I thought Mia was... great," I said. "She wasn't a slow trickle of information, but a friend. She was someone who cared for a short amount of time about me. AND YOU TOOK THAT AWAY FROM ME!"
I nurse burst in, and then yelled something down the hall that I didn't hear. My vision was too filled with tears and my hearing only my sobs as they echoed, and the gun shook in my hands. Some doctors ran in, maybe a police officer, and slowly made their way towards me. I didn't notice. I was staring at Ashton.
Suddenly, the gun was out of my hands and my hands were pinned behind my back. "WHY, ASHTON? WHY?" I screamed.
I was forced towards the door, as nurses tried to calm Ashton and ask what happened. But he stared at me.
"WHY ASHTON?" I looked him dead in the eye. "WHY DID YOU TAKE HER AWAY FROM ME?"
Suddenly, I felt drowsy, and everything disappeared into a constant state of black.
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A/N
Sorry, its short, but I thought I would squeeze it in. Comment your thoughts?
