CARMEN
"Carmen?" Ashton asked again, placing a hand on my shoulder. I continued to rub my temples, scenarios and theories running through my head. "You've been sitting here for nearly an hour. Come on, at least stand up. Eat something, you need it."
I swallowed and sighed, brushing his hand off of my shoulder. I opened my eyes slowly, blinking at the light. I stood up, shaking, and walked straight past Ashton. He hurried after me.
"Maybe we should get back to the data, and plan-"
"No," I said sternly. "First, I need to see Mia."
"Why?" Ashton said, grabbing my wrist, stopping me.
"I think she has more information. And, because she didn't deserve the hurt she got because I decided to try to save her."
"Carmen, she wouldn't have ever gotten out without you." Ashton said, concern in his eyes.
"She could have." I said, my mouth in a straight line, spinning and walking to the door. "Drive me to the office. My car's there, I need to go home."
Ashton stood there for a moment, his mouth hanging open.
What's wrong, Ashton? Surprised that I finally dropped the act that I'm actually happy?
"Oh.... um, well, Okay." Ashton said, scrambling to find his keys. "Meet at the hospital?"
I nodded once, and did it grimly. I wrapped my arms around my coatless self, the wind from the open door cold. I sighed, feeling light but heavy. Feeling like a thunder cloud hung over my head, like in the stupid cartoons, whenever a character was sad. Like I was the stupid, drawn, non-existant thing surrounded by rain from the single thundercloud above them, encased by their own sadness.
Ashton looked over to me. "Ready?"
I nodded, and walked out the door and out to his car. I waited to hear the click of the lock unlocking, as I heard thunder above us.
This is my kind of day.
I slipped into Ashton's car, not bothering to buckle. He did, and looked over to me. I didn't catch his gaze; I was looking out the window. But I can feel whenever eyes are on me, and I felt it then.
He started the ignition, a song playing on the radio. I didn't know it; normally, I don't listen to much music. But this was... something I haven't heard. It was slow, but not like a ballad. But not faster or upbeat.
"Mayday Parade," Ashton said out of the blue, like he knew I was wondering about the song. "It's called 'The Torment of Existance Weighed Against the Horror of Nonbeing'. Long name, like all their songs, but good."
I nodded, looking back out the window, letting the music's shifts, chords, and lyrics fill me, trying to replace the empty shell that I was.
"Now it's over and over and right back to me, What's the point if you've got one? Now I'm closer and closer to all that I need, wait around and you'll see...."
What's the point?
What is the point? Why are we here? Why am I solving other people's mysteries and problems when I can't even solve my own?
This is why I shouldn't be left in my own mind. I think too much.
I'm closer? The song said that they were closer to what they needed, telling people to give them time. Its like families expect us to find everything in a day. It doesn't work that way-
What am I doing? I'm normally the agent that never gives up, never takes too long.
What if the men are dead? What if we aren't as close as Ashton says?
"Carmen?" Ashton said, turning off the car, cutting off the song I had begun to like. "We're here, at the agency."
I nodded, jumping out, and punching the code into the side of the driver's door of my car. I quickly got inside, comforted by the familiar sent of the Black Ice scented car freshener. I turned the ignition, my keys still inside since the last time I drove this car.
I turned the car, speeding faster and faster until I passed Ashton's car, that was still waiting. I drove right at the fastest I could legally, speeding toward my house.
I tried to focus on the road, but I couldn't stop thinking about..... everything. About the case, Ashton, even myself. I'm normally not vain, I don't know what is wrong with me today.
I finally pulled into the parking space, and raced into my home, running up the stairs. I finally found my room, jumping inside and onto the bed, sighing deeply.
Sleep called me, but rest would have to wait.
I stood up, walking to the shower, with fresh clothes in my hands. I started the water, getting it as hot as it could get.
I stepped in, welcoming the scalding water, relieved. I thought about how I wished that the water could wash it all away. The cases, the memories, the bad dreams. I wished that I could stay here forever.
But I couldn't.
I finally finished, turning off the water, relief leaving me. I stepped out and hurried to get dressed, brushing my hair, and grabbing my things to meet Ashton at the hospital.
Then I received a call; Ashton.
"What?" I snapped.
"Hello to you too, Carmen."
"What do you need?"
"Well," Ashton sighed. "Its... Mia. She's... in bad condition. She wants you here, as soon as possible."
My breath hitched in my throat, and I nodded. "O-of course, I'll be there..... s-soon."
I turned off my phone, running down to my car as fast as I could. I slipped in, starting my car, praying that traffic didn't exist today. I drove, my hands clenching the wheel so tight that my knuckles turned white.
I won't let another life be lost.
Not Mia's.
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A/n.
Hey, im sorry this took so long. But im proud of this chapter.... I H O P E Y O U E N J O Y!
-H o p e
