Simon Lewis and The Avengers

Humans Don't End with Blood

"Alright," Natasha strode in holding two cups of coffee, "Steve, out." She ordered.

"Where's my coffee?" he complained whilst being ushered out the door.

"You don't drink coffee." Natasha put one mug on Bruce's desk. "Go make your own iced tea or something." Natasha called back. It was a little strange to see the Black Widow perch on the edge of the Hulk's desk without her spy gear on and sipping coffee. It made Simon sense a romantic relationship, maybe worth enough to make him fangirl- fanboy.

"I don't know what you did, Simon, but Fury is still completely out." Natasha swallowed.

"Encanto, vampire hallucinogenic power. One of the first things I learnt, along with saying 'God' and drinking human drinks." Simon stated, his mouth watering as Bruce brought his coffee to his lips and withdrew quickly after being burnt.

"Speaking of which, I would live for some coffee right now."

"You can have mine." Bruce held his up.

"Are you sure?" Simon perked up.

"Yeah." Bruce stood up with the mug.

"Thanks. Really?" Simon looked wide-eyed.

"Seriously, Its fine, Simon. It might be hot though." Bruce held the cup forward, hesitating.

"Don't worry about that." Simon assured Bruce. Simon would never admit that his heart fell slightly at the glimmer of red hair whilst he gulped down the black coffee, black like my soul Clary would have said. It did, however, bring a splash of homely normality into the room.

"Thank you!" Simon licked his lips when he had finished.

"How is the inside of your mouth not on fire?" Bruce marvelled.

"One of the -sort of- perks of being dead: I don't feel temperatures." Simon answered.

"What! Really?" Natasha gaped, "Nothing at all?"

Simon shook his head.

"That's got to be weird." She remarked.

"Not really." Simon said. "I'll tell you what, though, I save a lot on clothing."

"No growing, no weather outfits." Nat thought out loud. "You don't buy food either - gosh, death sounds cheap."

Simon smiled, he'd never thought about it but she was right.

"You should try it sometime." Simon joked sarcastically, though his anxiety made him fear that she didn't take it that way. "Don't worry, I would never drink from any human consciously." Simon assured her. "I just meant that being dead but still acting alive can get one in very difficult kerfuffle like this one. In fact, Raphael warned me when I became a daylighter that by still going to school and essentially balancing life instead of sleeping in a coffin at the vampire's retirement home, I was dangerous. He even tried to kill me because I was upsetting the vampire balance, though I had the mark of Cain at that point so no one could touch me."

"Confusing but cool." Nat let her eyebrows rise.

"Not cool." Simon corrected her. "I had to summon an actual angel to get it taken off, it was a miracle he didn't smite me on the spot."

"Actually," began Bruce, sipping on Nat's now-cool coffee. "That would explain some crazy weather reports we had a few years back that we couldn't solve. Your angel didn't happen to appear at a lake in the Three Arrows Farm, did it?" Bruce looked up from his computer.

"It did actually." Simon nodded.

"There were some crazy-ass reports coming from there. When some of the agents went to check it out, there were no bifrost/asgardian lawn markings or even any old-fashioned omens. We asked around but everyone had forgotten ever calling. That was one of the strangest un-solved cases we've come across in a while." Bruce remarked.

"Well, now its solved: the angel Raziel appeared and the mist couldn't cover him from the few people's views so they called. But when he left, he took their memories with him to heaven." Simon wandered if he was telling them too much. He supposed he could talk about Raphael, because he was dead so their was no use in protecting him, but he wouldn't talk about Luke's lycanthropy just in case.

"I don't think that would sound believable on the case file, though." Bruce passed Nat's mug back to her.

"Then, say the callers were drunk." Simon suggested. Bruce shrugged.

----

"How come you're a fully human avenger?" Simon tried to start a conversation with the spy, not meaning for it to sound as offensive as it did.

"Everyone here's human, except Thor." Natasha replied in confusion.

"From my perspective only you and Clint have human blood. I can smell it on you- sorry, I can't help it- My vampire survival instincts warn me not to drink from Bruce because of his hulk potion, not Thor because his godly blood might make me more daylightish, not Steve because of his Captain America juice, not Tony because I sense some electromagnetic poison in his blood. You and Clint are fine, though." Simon listed.

"I feel so honoured." Nat said tonelessly. Bruce took on a face of shock at hearing about Tony. Maybe Tony had been keeping that secret, oops, sorry Tony.

"I honestly don't know why I told you that. That was wrong of me, sorry." Simon felt so bad.

"Don't be sorry, Simon, we're still learning about you. We should be sorry for making it feel as though you can't talk to us." Bruce, Simon suspected, was trying to ease his anxiety.

"Simon," Nat started, "I agree with Bruce, and I might want to get back to the 'Tony' thing, but I know vampireness is different to us and you smell things like a bloodhound and stuff. Don't feel too separated though. I'll have to admit that you talking about drinking us is a little unsettling though." Nat said, seriously. It helped, but now Simon was anxious for Tony.

"Gotcha, no more blood talk." Simon agreed. "But, Miss Romanhoff, you have to know that I-"

"Would never harm a human being consciously? I believe you Simon." Natasha interrupted. There was a silence of smiles and then to start conversation up again, Nat spoke.

"To answer your question, I am a professional spy and trained in every area of weaponry and camouflage, so don't try anything."

"Awesome!" Simon replied. "Is that how you manage to hide your affection for Banner so well, then?"

Natasha's face went the same shade as her hair and Bruce promptly spat out a mouthful of Natasha's coffee.

"Simon!" Bruce warned like a parent.

"What? Have you heard the way you look at each other when the other isn't looking? Remember, I can hear your pulses quicken and your even sitting closer than colleagues would." Simon didn't even know what evil shipper had possessed him to cross the line he did, but he kept talking.

"Simon, we're not- we can't." Natasha muttered sadly.

"Come on, the invisibly strong nerd with the professionally flirty actor, worked for me..." Simon felt his heart sink. "Just make sure you have her back when she's on a mission or-" Simon's throat went dry and he swallowed back tears. He looked at the floor, sorry he'd said who was always on his mind. She always became more real on his lips, the stake twisting in his chest.

"Your girlfriend?" Natasha dared to mention.

"Izzy." Bruce recalled. Simon nodded.

"Sorry." Natasha said.

"Me too." Simon mumbled. There was a long silence and Simon kept his sleepiness at bay. He shouldn't need to sleep but Izzy always took all the energy out of him, even from beyond the grave. Bruce saw this and fed Simon a sleeping pill. He was out like light.