Blue Eyes (Asa Butterfield)

Chapter 10

I still went to my classes even though they told me I could stay in my dorm and rest, but I need to prepare for my tests and I can't miss a thing. Even though I can't focus on anything happening around me at the moment.

"Ms. Arnold, the answer." My science teacher Mr. Henderson asked.

I look at the board understanding everything that happened when I daydreamed and answered the question correctly and went back to my world.

My parents call every other day to check up on me after the jump and I just say I'm fine every time even though I feel as if someone took my heart and stomped on it until it turned into ashes and can't be put back together.

Every day after school I go to the music room and play 'Stairway To Heaven' and Asa always comes and tells me to play something happy and I always end up crying. This has been happening for a week now and I still can't let him go.

It's Thanksgiving break and I call my family to tell them I'm going to see them for the week. I really didn't want to go because no one wants to see me at this state, but I can't live with myself if I don't go.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come?" Iris asked helping me pack. She's been trying to help me get over it, but has failed to do so, but I always try to make it look like it's working.

"Iris, go to your family. I'll be fine."

Once we're done I go to say bye to Asa since he's leaving today.

He kisses me and asks, "You'll be okay, right?"

I kiss him again and reply, "Ya, I mean he said to learn to let go and be free so I guess I'll learn to do that once I see him." I've been using pronouns to describe his death and it hurts to say 'him' acting like he's not good enough for his own name, but using his name makes me want to burst out crying.

"Alright, now I got to go." Asa kisses me then leaves in a taxi.

Iris and I are going to the airport tomorrow morning to say bye to me since her parents are picking her up there. I'm going to O'Hare in Chicago and she's going to Banbury, England.

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"You be good now." Iris said hugging me tightly.

I hug her back and say, "I'll be normal when I get back. I promise."

Iris laughs and says, "Jess, there is nothing wrong being different. I don't believe in 'perfect' or 'normal'. Everyone is their own person. Always remember that." She said tapping my nose since she's taller than me.

I go on the plane and take a nice long nap until we get to Chicago.

"I heard the weather is bad in Chicago." The lady said sitting next to me.

I stare out the window and say, "Great."

She's looks sad and says, "I'm Danny and you are?" Danny is a lady with long red hair and dark brown eyes. She doesn't look like a serial killer.

"Jess."

"Jessica Arnold?" She saw the news.

I nod. "That's me."

Danny starts to cry and says, "I'm so sorry."

I comfort her and say, "Most people don't cry all they do is try to avoid the topic."

Danny wipes away her tears and says, "I know. When I was twelve my friend killed herself by cutting."

We talk about trying to get over it and all she said was you don't. You find a way to pull yourself together and learn to make them happy by moving on.