Depressing One Shots

Behind My Smile

Behind my smile is a hurting heart, behind my laugh I'm falling apart. Look closely at me and you will see the girl I am, it isn't me.

I haven't been me for awhile, but I try to act the same. I didn't want to burden you, but the burden is too much for me and I'm breaking. Just look closer and you'll see the tears that are always in my eyes. You'll see the sadness forever imprinted on my face.

I haven't been that happy-go-lucky girl for a long time, but I fake a laugh for your jokes. I hate my life and nothing makes me happy anymore.

I wish I could smile for real. I wish my laugh was genuine. I wish my heart was filled with joy instead of ache. I wish I could be the girl I used to be.

Behind my smile is pain you couldn't imagine. The kind of pain that makes hurt so much that you hurt yourself in other places just to feel okay for a minute or two. If you could be inside my head you would start sobbing. My head is not a safe place to be, it's uninhabitable. Yet I have to live there. That's why I don't want to live there, but the only way to stop living there is to stop living at all.

I haven't left yet because I'm holding on for my friends but recently I've felt they don't want to be around me anymore so I may leave soon.