Depressing One Shots

Imaginary

It's funny, all my life I've wanted to be alone. And now that I am, it turns out I'm not a very fun person to hang out with.

Everyday I stayed locked away in my room, caring about nothing except the latest characters she dreamt up. The only conversations I cared about were the ones inside my head.

My friends and family tried to stop me from spiraling into the darkness of my own brain, but I didn't care enough to listen. I pushed them all away because the people I thought of were perfect. The perfect friend, the perfect mom, the perfect sister, etc.

Eventually they stopped trying, eventually they just let me stay in my room.

I began to obsess over a guy who didn't actually exist. I became a whole new person living in a world of my creation.

And while I was finally happy for awhile, spending all my time alone, but not really feeling alone, I soon became bored. I learned that perfect can only make you happy for so long.

I started to imagine struggles for these people, to add a true plot to my story. But nothing could make up for the fact that at the moment my only friends were imaginary.

That thought settled in my brain. Imaginary friends. I began to think I was regressing back to my days a young little girl playing with my little ponies and talking to a princess that only I could see.

My breathing became fast and short. I couldn't focus. The room was spinning. I felt super dizzy. And i crumpled on the ground.

I didn't know how loud the fall was but it didn't matter. No one was going to come check on me. The only time I left my room was for school or meals and even then I talked as little as possible. It was like I almost forgot how.

And now I needed help and no one was going to come because I pushed them away.

All I ever wanted to be alone but it's more lonely than I thought.

And you can't lean on a wall that isn't real.