❝THIS COULD BE PARADISE.❞
In which Jenna Rivers always thought working for S.H.I.E.L.D would be her paradise, only to find out that it was merely a path towards one.
[AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D AU - SEASON 4]
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JENNA HATED HOW she was feeling — she hated that she was being this bitter, unhappy creature filled with frustration and agony. She was supposed to be happy for her friends, proud of them for achieving their dreams, but instead, she could only cry as she stormed away from them and rushed to her room, where she locked the door and buried her tear-stained face against the pillows on her bed. It felt borderline childish, but she supposed that was what it felt like to have your heart broken. She had felt misery before — when her father died, but this was different. Back then, she had lost her family. This time, she was losing someone she loved in a much different way.
When she eventually found the strength to do so, Jenna picked up her phone and dialed the one person who could help her with this — her mother. Magdeline was always there for her, she was one constant in her life, even when she was losing someone she thought would be constant. She knew life worked in mysterious ways, and things changed all the time, but that didn't stop her from hating those changes and what they did to her, which was why she was already holding the phone against her ear and waiting for her mother to answer so she could pour her heart out.
"Jenna? Hi, sweetheart!", Maggie answered with her gentle voice, her words feeling like the warm hug Jenna was in a dire need of.
"Hi, mom. How are you?", she cleared her throat then, insisting on being polite although broken — she didn't want to call just to sob through the phone and make it all about her. It had been a while since her mother had visited and the two had caught up on things, and as Jenna listened to her calm voice through the phone, she realized just how much she was missing Magdeline.
"I'm doing okay, darling. But I can tell you are not, so tell me, what is it? Has something happened?", her mother could instantly hear it in Jenna's voice, and smiling carefully, the blonde couldn't help but appreciate the mother's instinct that Maggie had as well — the ability to always worry for her children just the right amount, and tell whenever something was wrong.
Clutching the pillow on her lap, Jenna nodded whilst biting down on her bottom lip to stop the tears from running down her cheeks again. "He's leaving. They're both leaving. Fitz and Simmons— they're graduating early. They're going to be agents", she explained, falling apart despite her attempt to avoid doing so. "What do I do, mom?", Jenna sobbed, her eyes closing as her shaky hand held the phone against her ear, and she begged for her mother's help. The usually genius, brilliant girl was clueless in that moment, completely lost and swimming in waters far too deep for her.
She could hear her mother's sympathetic, sad sigh on the other side of the line. "I'm sorry, Jenna. My advice is that you try to be happy for them, no matter how much it hurts. Take all the fun out of the time you still have left. Cherish those moments. It'll be okay, darling, trust me. It doesn't have to be the end, just one chapter of your lives closing", Magdeline guided, and nodding her head, Jenna licked her wobbling lips, which caused her to taste the salty tears on them. "Appreciate what you have left. If you just close off in your room, you'll regret it afterwards. They are still there. Don't let that pass by", her mother continued.
