Repress | Spruceworth 3

Chapter 29

Chapter 29

       Julian and Noah had been coming over a lot because they still weren't getting any attention at home. They told me they understood if they didn't get as much, but they were literally getting none.

       Them coming over so often was a good thing. They got to know Kenny's family a lot more, and Titan even helped them calm down a bit and try not to go crazy just to get attention.

       They also really got along with Kenny, which was perfect for when they were finally enrolled in Spruceworth Community School. It took their parents a while to enroll them because they had been so focused on Josh, but at least Julian and Nolan were the two most intelligent twelve year olds I knew so missing a few weeks weren't going to hold them back.

       I was also starting to feel really conflicted. On one hand, I understood why their parents had to focus on Josh so much. He lost the love of his life, and he could barely function now. But the twins, on the other hand, were just kids. They needed attention, but they weren't getting any.

       The police were trying really hard to find out who drugged Cassidy that night, but they couldn't get anything. Nobody knew anything, and the security camera weren't showing anything. Whoever did it was very careful.

       And that made things worse for Josh because he had to know who did it.

       Josh's parents went to his house to check up on him, but they called me to ask if I knew where he was because he wasn't there. I had a feeling where he was, but I didn't want to tell them just in case they act irrationally so I only told them that I would go looking for him.

       Thankfully the twins weren't over at the time or they might have felt that yet another person was choosing their older brother over him.

       I headed out to the pub and sure enough, Josh was there. When I found out my own brother was the serial killer, I just wanted to drink away my problems. Losing someone you love and wanted to marry was a lot worse, so sure enough he would want to drink away his problems as well.

       I sat down beside Josh and he glanced at me before looking away. "I don't want to talk," he said, his words slightly slurred.

       "Josh, come on," I said. "I just want to know how you're doing."

       "How do you think I'm doing?" Josh asked. "I'm never going to get over this." He downed the drink in the glass in front of him before asking for another drink.

       Gerard was working behind the counter, so I told him not to give Josh anymore.

       "You can't stop me from drinking, Calvin," Josh said. "You shouldn't even be allowed in the pub, eighteen year old."

       I sighed. It was going to take a lot to get through to him, but I had to. "Josh, listen to me," I said. "Drinking fixes nothing, trust me, I know. It's only going to make things feel worse. It's not going to change the past, no matter how much you want it to happen. I'm not going to tell you to move on because I know how you felt about Cassidy, but you really have to at least try."

       "How?" Josh asked. "How can I possibly get over Cassidy? I've liked her ever since I was a freshman in high school. I always thought she was out of my league, and she gave me a chance. She was the one. She was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, but it was ripped away from me from some asshole who thought it was okay to drug her. The whole reason why I wanted someone to be at the party with her was so something like this wouldn't have happened."

       "Oh, so now it's my fault?" I asked.

       Josh sighed and rubbed his forehead. "No, I didn't mean it like that Calvin. I just....I just wish there was something I could have done to prevent it."

       "Yeah, I know," I said. "And I feel the same way. I was by her side the whole time. I should have been able to notice someone drug her, but I didn't. But it isn't my fault, and it isn't your fault."

       "That still doesn't stop me from feeling like crap," Josh said. "And nobody knows how I feel. Everyone is trying to be all sympathetic, but it isn't working at all. Can you imagine losing Kenny?"

       "I did almost lose him," I said. 

       "It's not the same," Josh said.

       "You're right, it's not," I said. "But it's pretty damn close. I watched him laying on the ground, bleeding. I was worrying that he wouldn't even make it because he was shot. To make things worse, I was arrested right after and I was interrogated, so I didn't even know how he was doing."

       "Still not the same thing."

       I sighed. I was close to giving up, but then I noticed Priya was working behind the bar as well. She did lose someone, someone even younger than Cassidy was. "Priya, can you talk to my cousin for me?" I asked.

       "About what?" she asked.

       "Did you hear about the girl who was drugged at the party and passed away because of it?" I asked and she nodded. "That was his girlfriend."

       "Oh," Priya said. "I'm so sorry."

       "I don't need pity," Josh said.

       "He's also moody and drunk," I said, and Josh glared at me. I just shrugged.

       "I lost someone too," Priya said. "My little brother, Rajan. He was thirteen years old."

       "What happened to him?" Josh asked.

       "Your cousin is what happened," I said.

       "Oh, Clyde," Josh said. "Wow, I'm sorry. Really. Thirteen years old is....that's really young."

       "Yeah," Priya said. "I don't know exactly how you feel because we lost someone with different importance to us, but I know that drinking away your problems and shutting everyone out won't help. I can't say exactly what will help though because it's different for everyone. You can try talking to others. Try getting into your normal routine before it happened."

       "I don't think anything is going to help," Josh said.

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Aww, Josh, my bb. <3 Sorry for causing this heartbreak lol. Cassidy wasn't even a planned character until I rewatched a Hollyoaks trailer from March and thought it would be different killing off one of my character's loved one. cx OOPS.

So I thought I start school Wednesday since I have Wednesday and Thursday classes. It turns out I don't lol. My Thursday class is really on a Tuesday oops.

THE NEXT CHAPTER IS THE FINAL CHAPTER GET READY FOR IT.