Don't Go Looking For Love❤️

COME BACK TO ME-27

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DON'T GO LOOKING FOR LOVE

POST 27

written by HEAVYNLI

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The bags under my eyes are something serious and I was nodding hard waiting for the doctors to come back in and update me on the baby or Jade. I wanted to check on him, but I couldn't bring myself to leave her side. I didn't want her to wake up by herself at all. I was in a living hell right now and all the money in my bank account couldn't make things the way I wanted it.

The door swings open and there is nothing buT serious looks on the doctors faces....

please God...

I look over at Jade, I get up and kiss her on the forehead... I'll be back mommy.....

I walk down on the hall with the doctors and then get on the elevator...we got off in front of the NICU there are a gaggle of doctors in there and they are all surrounding one incubator and as I get closer....I can see my last name on the incubator.....

the doctor puts his hand on my back.... remove your shirt sir after you wash your hands in that sink over there...

I do as I am told and I sit in the chair.... and the doctor places him in my arms and says for me to hold him closely to my chest..... I was so scared he felt light as a feather.... his official weight was 1 pound 11 ounces.... his body was hairy like a baby duck and his eyes were closed.... the machines were doing most of his breathing for him.... the nurse comes over and explains to me that this was called kangaroo care.... he would thrive off of the body to body contact and heat..... she covered both of us with a blanket and told me to talk to him too. I didn't know what to say to him except that I was happy he was still alive... but of course I knew that the big man upstairs had taken care of that one for me....

I held him for 3 and a half hours.... even got to change his diaper... yup he was still his pops kid no matter how much he weighed. loved the fact that had his mamas features. we made some cute babies for sure. I was missing her.... I took pictures of the lil one and saved them in case she had woken up since I had been gone...

Eventually, I had to go to the bathroom and I washed my face several times and got a toothbrush from one of the nurses....

lil man was back in his incubator.... his vitals were stable but he had a long road ahead of him the doctors said and everyday might not be as great as this one....

I headed back downstairs and into the room that contained my wife.... the machines were still doing all of the work for her.... the doctor comes in and had me sight some paperwork to be her proxy.... I called her mom and updated her on everything.... I held my tears in but I think she knew I was crying....

I heard Neeks in the background wilding and I knew it was because he missed his mama.... who didn't Neeks I love you I whisper into the phone... dadadadada he babbles..... my heart broke even more. Damn there is something that is special about a daddy and a son and he was my man for sure....

Channi came to the phone and told me she would bring us a bag and anything else that we might need. she came around 30 minutes later... I had clothing and so did jade... she brought a balloon for the incubator of lil man... I took a quick shower and came back out... Channi was holding Jades hand praying....

Father God...I ask that you bring a healing over her body today.... heal whatever is ailing her and bring her to a full health. in Jesus name amen .

Days 2,3,4 and 5 are all identical with me splitting time between their rooms hoping that both of them would be able to leave the hospital....

Jade was still down for the count.....

big boy was doing pretty good considering his entrance into the world... I couldn't wait for him to meet his mom...

The doctor comes in to talk to me and as he is talking.... I see Jade's body jerk in the bed.... then in comes more chaotic... they rush me out but im fighting hard to get back in... JADE!!!! sir calm down we don't want to call security....

fuck that's my wife man!!!

the doctors are in there for 30 minutes going in and out.....

then I heard the most beautiful thing I ever wanted to hear repeatedly

Nǎlǐ shì wǒ de zhàngfū hé háizi!!!!!!!

The nurse comes out.... shes awake mr Alsina.... we aren't sure what she wants

I smile and run to her side.... kissing her... baby you came back to me....

I smother her in kisses I didn't care that she had been in bed for 5 days straight

the doctors say careful....

jade looks over my shoulder and shouts

Ràng wǒmen kěyǐ, wǒ hěn hǎo! ( leave us be, I'm fine)

I laugh, be nice jade! these doctors have been helping you stay alive... she smiles for a moment and says thanks.

I say you scared the shit out of me.... I kiss her again and she says ...

looking at me before tearing up..... I wipe her tears with my thumbs... shhhhhhh he's good. small but good.... she looks at me harder I touch her tummy...

she smiles.... the doctors are looking at us as we talk in our own little code...

shes holding me so tight as if i'll slip through her fingers....

the doctors still want to keep her admitted for various reasons but she was cleared to meet our son in the NICU....... the meeting was emotional but we finally gave him a name...

Thanks for your time.