Undercover

17. Give It a Chance

Is this a flop? Because I feel like this story is such a flop. Please leave feedback if you decide to read it or make it this far. This was my second story that I finished, so I think I got a little too excited and posted it on here on a whim. Please...let me know what you think.

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As usual, I had gotten the talk about how my behavior had once again turned into self-destructive and that they didn't know how they could help me. I understood their concern, but I was fine. Aside from the park and deliberately staying in the rain, I had not engaged in any more "self-destructive" behavior. They were just worrying too much. But I could see why they were worried

Both Cayden and Ingrid thought that I was being too harsh. They told me constantly that while I was trying to hurt Nathan (Aiden, same damn thing), I was also hurting myself. I understood that. And I think that was a part of it, if I was being honest. I just wanted to forget about everything that happened, but Cayden and Ingrid were dead set on making me remember everything from the beginning. They brought up how he had been there for me and how I had been there for him in the good and hard times. And they even had the nerve to tell me that the only way he could protect me was by lying to me. Typical answer to defend lying to someone. I understood what it meant, but at the same time I didn't want to understand it. Knowing me, I'd delve far deeper into the reasons why and I would eventually end up asking for forgiveness or some shit like that. I didn't want to go there. I just wanted to be by myself, even if Cayden and Ingrid swore that we belonged together. "He still loves you," they said, but I didn't want to take any part in that.

They would roll their eyes whenever I got childish. I would cover my ears and scream out la la la, so that I could block them out. I get it. It was childish but I wanted them to stop telling me what they thought would be the best thing for me. It was not their decision to make.

At that moment, my phone chimed with the usual ringtone signaling that I had a text message. I went to open the message and saw that it was Finn. You might want to leave the house. He's going over there again.

Thanks, Finn. I appreciate it.

No problem.

I got up and then left the room and went towards the back door. I had realized that this was the safest option. There had been one time when I was leaving through the front door and Aiden was just coming up the driveway with his car, so I had to leap out of the way. You'd be surprised at how hard it is to leap and hope that he wouldn't see you. Thankfully, I didn't die or anything but I didn't want that to happen again.

There was a bit of a chill in the air, so I was glad that I had put on my favorite sweater, the one that would keep me warm no matter how cold it got. If there was something you had to understand about me was that I could not handle the cold. So having a piece of clothing that would keep me warm in all types of cold was something that I was going to be very fond of. I walked away and started walking around the house. When I got to the gate, I pulled on it and had thought that I was free but when I turned the corner, I saw Cayden, Ingrid, and Aiden standing outside. This had to be some sort of plan. If I wanted to walk straight, they would all see me and then Cayden would call me over and force me to talk to the person I desperately didn't want to see. I sighed and then went back into the backyard. I couldn't go anywhere without having them notice me.

So instead of leaving, I just sat there. I went over to the garden that was no longer a garden. We had already taken everything out. The only things back there were a few trees. There were two trees by the edge of the fence that separated our house from the one next door. I believed that they were peach trees. And on the other side of the garden, literally the opposite side of it and also near the fence, were two plants of cactus. My brother loved those and he was a really big fan. Our father had been crazy about those cactus plants too. He would always cut off a few and then peel them and have Mom cut them up and make nopales. I think it was something he lived for. I missed my parents, and looking at these trees and plants made me miss them a little bit more. I wished I could just go up to them and give them a hug or a kiss. It was one thing to know they were gone, but it was another to stop hoping they would walk through the door. I don't think you ever got used to not having them there. There were times when I expected them to walk through the door after a long day at work, I almost heard their car come up the driveway. It wasn't until I went downstairs that I realized that they were never coming back. "I miss you guys so much," I whispered, hoping that they could hear me. "Everything is falling apart and I don't know what to do. It would be so much more helpful if I could just talk to you. If anything, you guys always gave me good advice. I kind of need that now."