"You don't have to apologize.."
She looks at me again. I know she's thinking. The way her eyes completely focused on mine, the way she is slightly tapping her hand on my thigh.
"I do though, you told me, Ethan told me. Everyone told me it would be okay but I j-just didn't listen." I listen, and look deeply into her eyes as they begin to water. "And then shit happened and no one would answer their god damn phone and so I just sat there thinking and thinking and before I knew it you walked in the door and you got angry and I was so scared you'd never talk to me again and I-" Amber now has tears spilling out her eyes.
"Amber. I was never not going to talk to you again, I was just.. scared of loosing you.."
"Oh." Is all she says.
I lift up my arm and wipe the tears from her red splotchy cheeks. I smile slightly, trying to make her feel even slightly better. She looks down and starts playing with her fingers in her lap, slowly rolling her left arm over as she runs her fingers over the scars on her wrist. I reach down and grab her left arm and hold it tight.
"Hey.."
Amber and I both jump when her phone starts to ring. She takes a breath to calm her now racing heart beat, her breath deep, slow and uneasy. She stares at her phone for a moment before answering it.
"Hey Ethan.."
** AMBER'S POV **
"Please tell me Grayson has made it and not died!" He laughs.
"Yeah he's alive, and here with me. Why?"
"Oh he didn't text me to say he made it, and he was pretty stressed before he left so I was checking up on him."
"Well yeah he made it."
"Okay then. See ya bestie! Happy birthday!"
"Byie!" I say returning his enthusiasm.
I look over to Grayson staring out over the hill, he looks peaceful and I don't know. Calm. He turns his head slowly to face me.
"You don't hate me right?" Is all he asks.
Why would I hate him? He may have scared me a little but I could never hate him.
"No. Why would I hate you?"
"I don't know. I just couldn't stop thinking about it."
"Oh, well I would never hate you." I say with a smile.
***
Grayson and I are walking back to the hotel, hand in hand. He rubs his thumb against mine as our arms swing slightly while we walk up the stairs. I knock on the hotel door before Jai opens it.
"Finally!" He groans.
"Hmpf." Is all I reply with.
We walk in and sit on the small sofa.
"Where's mum?"
"In the bathroom!" Jai jumps onto his bed.
Before I know it mum walks out of the bathroom and the four of us leave for tea. We walk to a small, not to fancy restaurant. I sit beside Grayson and mum and Jai sit opposite us. I skim my eyes across the menu, stopping them when they come across lasagna.
***
"Are use finished with these?" The young waiter asks politely.
"Yes thank you!"
Grayson entwines his fingers with mine under the table while we wait for dessert.
***
I feel Grayson's grip tighten on my waist as we lay beside each other, in the middle of the night. I can't sleep. I can't ever sleep much anymore these days. I just don't particularly know how, I wake up at the same time every night. Once and 2am then again at 5am, sometimes it takes forever to get back to sleep sometimes it doesn't, then again sometimes I don't get back to sleep at all. I roll over so I am facing the sleeping Grayson, I bury my head in his chest hoping it will help me sleep. Eventually my eyes get heavy and I fall asleep. Only to wake up again. I roll and toss and turn, until I finally roll and turn on my phone, 2:08am. Great. My warm, restless sleep ended by some stupid thing I don't even know. I don't know why my body suddenly has the urge to wake up at this time in the morning, I really don't. Maybe because I spent like three days crying until 2am or because my body doesn't feel tired. I know my mind does though. I turn my phone back off and walk to the bathroom, stare at myself in the mirror for a while before hear a faint knock on the door. I jump slightly before opening the door. There stands a worried Grayson. How and why is he awake.
"You okay.?"
"Why are you even awake?" I whisper because Mum and Jai are still asleep in the next room.
"I could ask you the same thing you know." He weakly smiles at me.
"Mm I couldn't sleep." I whisper, leaning onto his chest as he wraps his warm, muscular arms around me.
We stand there for a few minuets, just breathing in the scent of each other, his scent so calming. I pull away and yawn before Grayson pulls me back to bed. I lay my head on his chest and rest my leg on his while he wraps his arm around my back. Grayson starts rubbing small circles in my lower back.
***2 days later***
"That body's a blessing girl
I ain't tryna pressure her
But she messed with the temperature
Heart wrote the song but I'm the messenger
Through the metropolis
There is no stopping this
Flowers and kisses (Yeah)
I heard you like chocolate
Light up the candles.."
Grayson and I sing along to the lyrics of Movements by Pham as we drive from New York to New Jersey.
"..This trust never tripping up
This love ever living up
Never had to flex for you
Get fresh catch a bus just to hit you up
Got me on speed dial
Just press 1 if you really need me now
Press 4 if you miss me
Press 3 and I'll..."
As the song ends Grayson turns the music down a little so it's not screaming in our ears. I lay back and get comfortable with his pillow. Before I know it I can feel Grayson shaking me softly.
"Wake up beautiful we're here."
I sit up slowly. Grayson kisses my forehead and grabs my hand pulling me out of the car. I turn around and see the front door open.
YOU ARE READING
Holding On For Him ~ GD
FanfictionJust another typical love story about a girl and boy who meet in a coffee store. Yep. That's right. Simply by his brother pushing him onto her table where he spills his coffee all over her books. But then she pushes him away. After he pushes her awa...
